(BONUS AUDIO) “The Statistomat Pitch” by Chan Davis | Classic Science Fiction Story!

Weird Darkness: Stories of the Paranormal, True Crime, Legends, Lore, Mysterious, Macabre, Unsolved

Darren Marlar

True Crime, History, Society & Culture, Documentary, Science, Religion & Spirituality

4.6 • 4K Ratings

🗓️ 9 June 2025

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In a future where estate planning is controlled by talking machines and smooth-talking salesmen, one pitch meeting takes a sharp turn into corporate sabotage and high-tech deception.
Originally published in Infinity Magazine, January 1958

ABOUT WEIRD DARKNESS: Weird Darkness is a true crime and paranormal podcast narrated by professional award-winning voice actor, Darren Marlar. Seven days per week, Weird Darkness focuses on all thing strange and macabre such as haunted locations, unsolved mysteries, true ghost stories, supernatural manifestations, urban legends, unsolved or cold case murders, conspiracy theories, and more. On Thursdays, this scary stories podcast features horror fiction along with the occasional creepypasta. Weird Darkness has been named one of the “Best 20 Storytellers in Podcasting” by Podcast Business Journal. Listeners have described the show as a cross between “Coast to Coast” with Art Bell, “The Twilight Zone” with Rod Serling, “Unsolved Mysteries” with Robert Stack, and “In Search Of” with Leonard Nimoy.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The weather. Tomorrow, expect a biting cold front. Hmm, how naughty. I wonder what I'll be
0:06.8	wearing or taking off. The night will be wild and untamed. Expect heavy, lashing rain
0:13.0	that'll soak you to the skin. By Monday, temperatures will rise slowly but surely reaching
0:18.7	their peak in the afternoon.
0:23.0	Not in the mood for miserable weather?
0:25.8	Fly cheaply to Turkey with Sun Express.
0:28.7	Sun Express, non-stop sunshine.
0:36.4	The Stastitamat Pitch by Chan Davis from Infinity Magazine, January 1958.
0:44.3	The little salesman buzzed into my hotel room exactly at ten. He must have been waiting in the corridor, ambushing the second hand. I watched from my deep chair in the corner while he slid open
0:50.5	his raincoat, lifted it neatly off his back, the casual shrug wasn't his style,
0:55.7	and stood with it hanging from his forefinger. With a bright, apologetic smile, he hung it up in
1:01.3	the alcove behind the door. I decided not to object to his using the hook without asking.
1:07.2	It had just slow things up. The salesman smiled again, ducked out into the corridor and back in with a flat 24-by-20
1:15.3	briefcase, in a large, oddly shaped suitcase.
1:19.7	His presentation charts and a mock-up of the computer, obviously.
1:24.1	More apologetic faces, and he sat down. He said,
1:27.8	"'It was very good of you, Mr. Borch, to give me this chance to tell you about our new
1:32.1	personalized statistic.
1:34.2	I know you're a busy man.'
1:36.3	I raised my drooping eyelids just enough to see him properly.
1:40.8	"'With all your responsibilities, I hope I'll be able to answer all your questions on modern
1:45.3	estate planning.
	...

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