Welcome to Fitstog Radio. I am your intrepid host, Greg Fitzsimmons. I think about 14 years

now. I've been sitting in front of you, professing my inner secrets and trying to make

you laugh and I'm glad you've joined me for this journey. I don't know when it ends. I

can't see where it would end. Why would I stop? I'll be an old man, drooling on the mic.

Tell me about my hemorrhoids and my wife who's dead. My kids don't talk to me.

God, I hope I die first. I would be so bummed if my wife died. I fucking love

the shit out of her. She's the best. And if she died, I don't know what I would do. I would lose it.

I really would lose it. And so it's kind of mean to put that on her that she has to deal with my death.

But I'll be gone. I'm not one of those people that believes in an afterlife. So I'll just be gone

and she'll deal. Sorry, baby. My dad died when my mom was 48 years old. Never remarried.

Dated a few times. And I can't see Aaron. I think she'd, I think that would be it. I think it'd

be a wrap. I don't think she'd be with anybody else, especially with me haunting the house

and sabotaging all of her dates from the netherworld. Anyway, speaking of getting older, my son is

gradually, I just bought tickets for my son to graduate college. And I got direct flights. They

flights are so goddamn expensive right now. And I wanted direct flights. I don't as a rule fly

connections. I will turn gigs down. And I'm sorry if you live in a city that requires a connection,

but there's a chance I don't work your city because of that direct flights only. I remember

connecting to Florida. I was doing a gig in Miami. And my flight out of LA left at like five o'clock

in the morning. So I get to Atlanta and I've got two hours layover for my flight to Miami from

Atlanta. And so I was like, I set the alarm on my phone and I laid across a bench and I had to

shimmy my body under the armrest. I remember that. I had to wedge my body under the armrest and

there was nobody around. And so I was like, fuck it. I'm taking up this whole bench. And so I set the

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