Attachment Theory Emails (Part 1) (2020 Rerun)

Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Kirk Honda

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 April 2021

⏱️ 82 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

[Rerun] Dr. Kirk answers patron emails about attachment.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, deserving listeners. I compiled a bunch of emails from y'all about attachment theory,
0:04.9	so I thought I'd get all those out of the way. Let's answer your patron emails about attachment
0:10.7	theory. This first email is from anonymous patron, they write,
0:14.8	is it possible to develop an insecure attachment as an adult? When I was 24, I had a very traumatic
0:22.3	breakup. I'm 30 now and I've been able to hold down along and I haven't been able to hold down
0:28.0	along term relationships since that breakup at the age of 24. After breaking up, I now relate
0:33.2	strongly to the avoidant attachment you described in your deep dive end of email. Yeah, so anonymous
0:40.2	patron here is saying that prior to being 24, she might have been secure or at least mostly secure.
0:49.0	She had a traumatic breakup when she was 24 and for the past six years, she would describe herself as
0:55.1	being avoidant attachment. Often when I talk about attachment theory and the way it's often
1:02.8	discussed in the literature is that we develop our attachment theory in response to our
1:08.9	relational environment when we're very young, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years old, and that that
1:15.4	attachment style will persist into adulthood. Research shows that there is a correlation,
1:23.1	but it's not a guarantee for sure and research shows that later events can change one's
1:29.2	attachment style, good and bad. So for example, in therapy, hopefully you are experiencing a secure
1:36.8	attachment and will thus change your attachment style from being insecure to more secure. So you
1:44.2	can become more healthy attachment wise when you experience healthy attachments. Also, which
1:50.9	stands to reason, if you experience damaging attachment experiences, then your attachment style
1:57.6	will move more towards insecure away from secure. So attachment style does more full of time,
2:06.3	absolutely. And it's also dependent on your partner. If your partner is more undifferentiated,
2:13.8	more insecure, then in all likelihood, you're going to move more towards attachment insecurity.
2:20.3	You might have notices about yourself. If you've had enough partners in your life, you might
	...

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