Ask the Amys: Favoritism, Unsupportive Managers, and More

Women at Work

Harvard Business Review

Entrepreneurship, Workplace, Business/management, Business/entrepreneurship, Progress, Resources, Gender, Equality, Business/careers, Women, Hbr, Careers, Management, Business, Harvard, Human

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 7 April 2025

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Imagine having a direct report who sobs every time you give them feedback. Or leading a team of people who’ve told your boss they don’t trust you. Or managing people for the first time—43 of them—with no training or guidance. The Amys offer advice for getting through these real situations from listeners–ot just advice, but actual language for asserting your needs, earning trust, setting boundaries, and holding your ground even when emotions run high.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Okay, time for Ask the Amies.
0:04.1	This is when listeners send us their dilemmas.
0:07.3	They may be interpersonal, they may be with their managers, they may be at their own professional development, and we chew them over and share our thoughts.
0:17.2	That's right.
0:17.5	And today's questions are around returning from maternity leave, dealing with an unsupportive manager, being taken seriously as a first-time manager, plus a couple other things.
0:29.2	Let's start with a question about returning to work after having a baby.
0:33.2	Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to read this one to you. All right. This is from a listener who is back at work pretty recently, and she asks, how can a woman returning from a career break or maternity leave effectively handle comments or advice from senior leaders, such as take it slow, your family is important, or don't pressure yourself yourself when you express interest in taking on more
0:56.5	responsibilities or pursuing growth opportunities. As a new mother, I find myself second-guessing
1:01.9	whether I should aspire for growth or take on challenges, especially after receiving well-meaning
1:07.5	advice to just slow down. How can I balance these external perspectives with my
1:12.6	own ambitions? Well, let's start with stop second-guessing yourself. Yes. No one knows you better
1:20.1	than you know yourself, right? Yes. So in the moment, you can say, no, I'm pretty sure I want to take
1:26.7	this on. Yeah. And if the person keeps pressing, you can say, no, I'm pretty sure I want to take this on. Yeah.
1:27.7	And if the person keeps pressing, you can say with a smile on your face, if I were returning from paternity leave, would you be saying this to me?
1:39.6	Right.
1:40.2	Right.
1:40.8	Yeah.
1:41.3	Well, and I'd like even to draw a contrast to say, you know, I know some people like to slow down after they have kids. Don't say women. Right. Right. Yeah. Well, and I'd like even to draw a contrast to say, you know, I know some people like to slow down after they have kids.
1:47.2	Don't say women, right?
1:48.4	Like, I know some people like to slow down after I have the kids.
1:50.6	That's not where I'm at right now.
1:52.1	So I'd love to talk about my opportunities.
	...

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