Hello and welcome to a bonus Ask Lisa episode of Pants on Fire.

I'm your host, Deborah Goldstein.

Most weeks on the show, we bring on one expert and one liar,

and it's the job of a human child contestant to help us figure out who is who.

And we do that with the help of our sound effects robot, Lisa,

whose name stands for live in studio audience.

Not just a robot, Deborah. The Best Robot Ever. Dot com.

Oh, I agree. You are the best robot ever.

Dot com.

Right.

Anyway, our human child listeners are so fascinated by you, Lisa, that they send in all sorts of questions that they want

you to answer on air. And that's what we'll be doing this week. That's right. For the low, low price

of $49.99, I'll take your questions and send back an answer in six to eight weeks, along with a

pants on fire commemorative used tissue. Oh, collect all five, and you can be eligible to walk up. No, wait, wait, wait, no, Lisa. We're not charging our listeners for writing in questions. We're going to do it for free like we always have. I get it. You're playing hardball. I like it. It's a fire sale here at Pants, and for a limited time only, you can get your question answered for the insanely low price of $79.99.

Wait, that's more than before. But wait, there's more. If you call in right now, you'll receive a free Pants on Fire Commandment of Use Q-Tip.

Oh.

With real wax, fresh from the ears of one of our real truth-telling experts.

Oh, gosh.

But that's not all.

No.

For just three easy payments of $99, $99. The price keeps going up. You can get five questions answered. Two tissues, the Q-tip, and the rest of Deborah's lunch. No, no, I was eating that. That's five questions, two tissues, the Q-tip, and over half of a falafel sandwich.

Yours for free if you call right now. Okay, how is any of that free? You said three payments of $99.99. That's $300. I said easy payments. Still not free, though, right? Well, if you steal your parents' credit card, it's totally free.

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