This is the 10% Happier Podcast.

I'm Dan Harris.

Hello everybody. How we doing?

In many ways, it is a great thing that we are now so open about our mental health.

It's also great that therapy has gotten so popular.

There are, however, some downsides to this otherwise positive trend.

One of them is that therapy speak, the use of clinical, technical terms that therapists actually use, is now being widely misused in our culture on social media and in common parlance.

And most importantly, in relationships where these terms are often being weaponized.

Specifically, I'm talking about terms like gaslighting, narcissists, sociopath, bipolar, borderline boundaries, red flags, etc. So today we're

going to talk about what these terms actually mean, how not to weaponize them against other people,

what to do when other people weaponize them against you.

And beyond all of the terminology, we're going to talk about how to navigate one of the

trickiest parts of being alive, which is relating to other people.

My guest is Isabel Morley.

She's a clinical psychologist and a couple's therapist certified in something called

emotionally focused therapy, which she will explain.

She's got a blog called Love Them or Leave Them.

She's the co-host of a podcast called Romcom Rescue, and she's got a book called They're

Not Gaslighting You, Ditch the Therapy Speak, and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every

Relationship.

In this conversation, we talk about the difference between abuse and bad behavior,

how to know if you are actually in an abusive relationship, how to correctly use the term

...