AP 313: How to Strive for Excellence (and Still Be Human!) || with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and Carolyn Bever

About Progress

Cloud10

Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 13 January 2021

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Licensed marriage and sex therapist, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is well known to this community. Today she is joined by her sister, Carolyn Bever who is an acclaimed violinist. Through their respective careers they have both seen how a lot of people become overwhelmed at the prospect of getting from where they are, to where they can go, because of perfectionism. Together they teach the importance of knowing your strengths, your own capacity, and how strive for excellence in a way that works for you. Tune in to hear how Carolyn went from musician to marathoner, by taking it literally one block at a time. As well as, a "bad Jennifer story" where she shares an insecurity that may resonate with many listeners. Ultimately remember that the struggle with perfectionism is a very human struggle and how to move the needle anyway. About a few other things... The Strive Hive helps Progressors who are eager to take action and strive for daily progress access LEARNING, CHANGE, AND COMMUNITY, so that they can find more and lasting personal growth and fulfillment. Join us for weekly chats, monthly masterclasses, self development book club, accountability and more! Sign up for your spot in my FREE class, How to Make Habits that Stick, where I guide you towards narrowing in on your goals through habits. You can have more control and live with intention, and it starts here. Choose from 3 dates and times. See you there! Sign up for the Go Getter Newsletter to get Progress Pointers in your inbox every Thursday. SHOW NOTES Jennifer's Instagram and Website, Carolyn's Instagram and Website Get your Monk Manual for 20% with code 'ABOUTPROGRESS' through January 31st Join the FREE January Joiner Challenge Sign up for the FREE Habits That Stick Class Better Help – online therapy Get the Organization Overhaul audio course Join the monthly membership group Get your first month+ FREE with Libsyn using code MONICA Lend your voice and experience + be featured on the show HERE Join Monica on Facebook and Instagram Songs Credit: DRIVE by Dj Nicolai Heidlas @nicolai-heidlas Music provided by FREE MUSIC FOR VLOGS AND VIDEOS bit.ly/freemusicforvlogs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to about progress. This is episode 313, how to strive for excellence and still be human with Dr. Jennifer Finlison Fife and Carolyn Bever.
0:12.0	For me, seventh grade, which was the first year of junior high where I lived,
0:16.0	marks the turning point for me being a normal kid, okay with whatever my efforts produced,
0:21.3	to being obsessed with greatness. And this translated in all facets of my life
0:26.9	from getting good grades to how I was dancing, to my own self-righteousnessness and the ways I pursued music. Speaking of which, I joined
0:36.1	band as a seventh grader and I decided to play the flute because that's what my older
0:40.0	sister already did, so we had one. And miss summer band so I arrived to band the first
0:46.2	day of school not knowing a single thing and it took me about two minutes into
0:51.4	the period to realize that I was the bottom of the whole line of
0:55.8	flute players, which was probably well over 20 at that point.
0:59.8	While I had taught myself to make a sound on the flute before school began, all the other flute
1:04.1	players knew at least one full skill.
1:06.8	So I quickly realized that I had a long way to go and I knew who was at the very top to beat.
1:13.0	Now my determination took over and I practiced around the clock.
1:16.5	I taught myself everything on the flute and I was relentless and challenging the girl ahead of me and then the girl ahead of her and on and on and on until I finally got to challenge the first chair of
1:28.6	flautist and I won. Now while that moment was totally exhilarating for me as a 12 year old what
1:35.3	followed was six years of doing everything I could to stay at the very top.
1:40.3	It was relentless and it was very hard work and I never felt fully secure in my position as a flute
1:47.9	player.
1:48.9	I don't play the flute much anymore and you might be wondering why that is. Well, it's because after years of being at the top, including an advanced
1:56.7	ensemble in my huge high school, I tried out for the band class at Brigham Young University, where I went to school for college and I didn't make it. So I stopped playing the flute. After years of working so,
2:09.8	after years of working so, so hard. Now what a pity right? I quit because I could no longer see myself
	...

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