Anxious-Avoidant Relationships, Narcissism, and Insight to Action: Mailbag

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 1 September 2025

⏱️ 71 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer questions about complex situations where good process really matters. They discuss whether to get back with an ex who has seemingly changed, relationships with someone with addictive tendencies, the difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and narcissistic tendencies, and why genuine change requires more than insight alone. Other topics include how much to tell your therapist, fears of being misunderstood, and how to approach meditation if you have an underlying vulnerability. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Should I get back with my ex? 13:40: Dating someone with long-term substance use 19:30: Narcissistic traits vs. narcissistic personality disorder 32:40: How much research to bring into therapy 39:50: Fear of being misunderstood and hyper-rationality 47:40: Safe meditation practices for people at risk of depersonalization 55:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. If you're new to the show,
0:11.0	thanks for joining us today. And if you've listened before, welcome back. I'm here today, as usual,
0:16.1	with clinical psychologist, Dr. Rick Hansen. So, Dad, how are you doing? Doing great and looking forward to this.
0:22.6	Yeah, same. Today we're opening up the mailbag and we're going to be answering some questions
0:26.4	from our listeners. We love the mailbag episodes. We've gotten a really positive response to them
0:30.7	recently. If you'd like to have a question answered on a future episode of the podcast, the best way is
0:35.6	by signing up for our Patreon. You can find us at
0:38.0	patreon.com slash being well podcast. And you can also send an email to contact at being well
0:44.0	podcast.com. Also, I want to give you a quick reminder about an offering from Rick. It says
0:49.3	self-worth workshop. It's an online course starting October 4th that includes six hours of recorded teaching
0:55.6	with Rick, and it'll help you develop a stronger sense, hopefully, of worth and belonging.
1:00.9	So therapists and mental health professionals can also earn four continuing education credits.
1:05.4	It's really cool that Rick offers those through his courses, and you can learn more at
1:08.9	rickhanson.com slash worthy and use coupon code
1:12.3	being well 25 to receive a 25% discount. So we're going to start today with a bit of a longer
1:19.1	question, but I think that the context is important here. And as we were getting ready to record
1:24.0	this, Rick and I were talking a little bit. And there's kind of a theme throughout this episode of a lot of questions where you could really see the answer kind of going either way
1:32.4	or without a really decisive answer, but it's kind of about having good process throughout.
1:37.4	So here we go with the first question. I'm struggling with whether to give my ex another chance.
1:42.5	We're in our early 30s, and we were together for
1:45.1	four and a half years before breaking up about 10 months ago because of classic, anxious,
1:50.2	avoidant attachment issues. I was pushing for more commitment while he was pulling away. After
	...

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