AMY: Defensiveness (Part 2 of How Relationships Begin to End: The Four Horseman)
The Bobby Bones Show
Premiere Networks
4.8 • 10.2K Ratings
🗓️ 28 September 2025
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Amy and Kat continue to unpack Dr. John Gottman’s famous ‘Four Horsemen of the apocalypse’ for relationships which has helped him be able to predict the failure or success of a relationship with a 90% accuracy rate. Week 2 is Defensiveness. It is that quick “it’s not me, it’s you” response that shows up when we think we are being criticized. Amy and Kat talk about how defensiveness sneaks in when we are stressed or protecting our ego (especially for Amy!!), and why it makes conflict worse instead of solving it. They share real-life examples, explain how even a hint of criticism can trigger us, and walk through the antidote of taking responsibility for your part. You will hear tips for pausing, owning your piece, and keeping conversations from turning into blame games. This episode will help you stay connected and turn tense moments into opportunities for understanding.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
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Transcript
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