It's that time.

Lock and load.

The Michael Vary Show is on the air.

I've got the eyes, cooking in the microwave,

I've got a three-day beard, I don't plan to shave,

and it's a beautiful thing, but I just gotta say,

I'm doing all right.

Well, I think I'll make me some homemade soon.

I'm feeling pretty good, and that's the truth.

There's neither drink nor drug-induced, no, I'm just doing all right.

It's a great day to be alive.

I know the sun is still shining when I chose my eyes. I had a flat this morning, so I had to call an Uber. His last name was And Drop-Off.

And I said, you're Russian.

You said, yep.

I said, what's your full name?

Pick up, drop off.

What's this name, Ramon?

You know why the dentist and the manicurist had to get a divorce?

They were fighting tooth and nail.

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia, she said, in a real low whisper, they're right behind you.

The University of Houston Cougar basketball team, number one seed in their region,

pulled out the win against a tough Tennessee team over the weekend.

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