Am I the jerk for telling my wife off after getting our daughter to cut her hair off, even after being told not to?

My wife is currently battling cancer, and one of the things she's told me she's struggling with the most was losing her hair.

She's been given a near 100% chance of survival since we caught her early, but the chemotherapy has destroyed her hair anyway, and she had to shave what was left of it off

a few weeks ago. Not long after that, she suggested we attempt to get our 17-year-old daughter, Anna,

to do so as well. Now, Anna has very long hair that she puts a lot of care into, so I felt

it was appropriate to ask her in private if she wanted to or would be willing to do such a thing.

She told me that she didn't want to cut her hair and I figured that that was the end of that.

However, yesterday they came home from a girl's shopping trip, something they do every so often.

And Anna had a buzzed haircut.

That struck me as odd after what she'd said.

So after dinner, I talked to her and she told me that my wife had said she would never forgive Anna if she didn't show her support by buzzing her head.

I asked her if she was happy about it and she said that she wasn't.

When I went to bed, I brought it up with my wife and she said, it was Anna's choice too or not.

I just told her how I'd see the situation I told her off saying she needed to respect Anna's personal choices

and that a 17 year old girl being against shaving her head wasn't exactly out of the ordinary

however my wife simply said it was to show support for her I've been sleeping on the couch

since yeah I love my

wife and I understand that she's going through something traumatic. However, her attitude comes off

as very manipulative to me and that's not behavior that I feel I can personally accept. I'm not

sure if I can move past this to continue the relationship. So, am I the jerk? Okay, this one a little bit more cut and dry

than the last one. I'm really interested to see the comments from that. Nonetheless, this is a,

yeah, obviously just your wife's just done something terrible. Like, fine, going through cancer,

...