All These Fears Will Be For Your Good - Facing the Fear Trap

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 19 April 2023

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

True or false? You only use 10 percent of your brain? Albert Einstein was a lousy student, and look how he turned out! Positive affirmations will lead you to self-love and happiness. To get the answers, you'll need to listen to this episode, but (spoiler alert) we are often building meaning and judging ourselves based on stories that aren't true and, in some cases, cause us to feel deep shame and fear. Tony talks about how certain myths around fear stunt our growth and what we can do to resolve our fears and doubts. Tony references "The Confidence Gap" https://amzn.to/3AuBPlb (https://amzn.to/3AuBPlb) by Russ Harris for this episode. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch (https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch) Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 (https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0)Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384)Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop (http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop) to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com (http://pathbackrecovery.com/) And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com/) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ (https://descript.com/?lmref=bSWcEQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0	So some days I do the majority of my therapy sessions in person. People are here on the couch, not necessarily laying down, but they are in person. And then there are other days where I feel like I have several sessions that are online and doing teletherapy, telehealth. And a few days ago, I felt like it was the old joke that the internet must have been down for cleaning. It just felt like a very slow, laggy internet day.
0:23.8	And I felt like all of my sessions.
0:25.4	There was the glitches.
0:27.0	And if you've ever seen, there's a commercial, I think, on TV where if the person's telling
0:31.0	me that they are not doing well, but if the not glitches out and they say they're doing
0:35.6	well, then that could cause for a completely different experience in therapy of me thinking that I'm communicating something and the client feeling like I have no idea what they're talking about.
0:44.4	And they feel so unheard and so unseen.
0:46.5	So on this particular day, I kept getting these disruptions.
0:49.7	The internet that just kept buffering and glitching and our internet connection was unstable.
0:55.7	And I found myself,
1:02.5	honest to goodness, not moving and not even moving my mouth and going very monotone, as if that would produce some sort of video and audio signal that would be much easier to make it down
1:08.3	the crowded bandwidth of internet that is leaving my building and going out
1:12.6	to the rest of the world. So that actually is not the way the technology works. And it reminded me
1:18.6	of a metaphor that then led me to today's episode. This act metaphor is one talking about feedback
1:24.7	and when you get in front of a microphone and what happens.
1:28.3	So you know that horrible feedback screech that the public address system sometimes make
1:33.0	or if you've been somebody that has jumped up on a stage and you have a microphone that is
1:36.7	providing feedback.
1:37.6	When I spoke at the Utah Mental Health Association at the end of last year, we had a little
1:41.8	bit of struggle at the beginning of the feedback.
1:45.6	And I think everybody laughed the first couple of times that happened, but then it started to get very annoying. But it
1:50.4	will happen when a microphone is positioned too close to a speaker. So then when a person on stage
	...

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