Did you know choosing the train over your car can cut your carbon footprint by up to two thirds?

So, one family outing at a time, one little adventurer at a time, one trip to the museum, one dinner in the city, one nap on the way home at a time.

One train journey at a time can help create a greener future.

So when will you take your next trip? Find out more at nationalrail.co.uk slash greener.

This is Everything Happens. I'm Kate Boller.

For those of you who've been with me from the beginning, you know that I've been living through my own dark time.

After I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

And when you have a serious illness, one thing you are definitely going to learn about is awkwardness.

After I was diagnosed, people didn't know how to respond. Human beings are by nature ridiculous.

And let's face it, nothing is more ridiculous than having to answer the question, how are you in a casual way after you've been diagnosed?

So I thought it would be useful to talk to an expert in awkwardness.

My guest today is Alexandra Petri, and she is easily the most fun person on the planet to introduce.

She not only writes a hilarious and clever column for the Washington Post, but she has auditioned for America's Next Top Model,

and performed more than adequately in an international Whistlin convention.

She once joined a cult, quote, to be polite.

She is the author of A Field Guide to Awkward Silences, and has agreed to allow me to be awkward with her today.

I am so glad you're here.

Thank you so much for having me!

So, Alexandra, do you mind if I uncomfortably read the opening passage of your own book to you, the author?

Oh, go for it, it'll be very awkward, but I think that's what we're going for.

Thank you. This is my favorite.

I am afraid of many things, drowning, fire, the disapproval of strangers on the internet,

...