What a checklist for this week's episode of SmackDown.

I mean, AJ Lee returned. It was the last ever Smackdown for one John Cena. Joe Tessorres disappeared for two months. And somebody filmed Alastair Black walking down some stairs. I mean, that's weird, right? Imagine you walked down some stairs today. Somebody was just filming you. I think you'd be a little bit put out. Also, all of my friends and welcome to ups and downs for WW Smackdown, the only rest of you show you need because I watch sports entertainment because you don't have to. The first segment basically lasts in an hour so we can probably get through this week's ups and downs pretty fast. But yeah, if you did tune in, I would imagine you are feeling warm and fuzzy in your tom-tum right now. So let's give the good bits and up and the bare bits are down. I do not know who I'm looking at. Don Cedar also kicked off this Smackdown and he got a mega popful. He did say, oh my gosh, it's my last night on the blue brand. When he also pointed out, you know, I've been trying to find my mojo recently like it was Austin Powers, but people keep telling me to have fun, and given that we are in Chicago, and you've always told me how you feel, damn it, we're just going to have fun. And Cindy Lauper came out, didn't happen. He also told the audience that they can be so loud sometimes wrestlers will return. And of course, everybody AJ Lee when he was like wow look at this building I fought triple H here at

WrestleMania and it's the same place where CM Punk and I went at it at Money in the Bank

which today is considered a classic. And then when all to say the Chicago fans are the best

which made me chuckle because he was on British television recently where he said I'll

tell you who the best fans are the ones in in the O2 London. So you can take that all with a pinch of salt. This is when Sammy Zane's music hit, and even though he said, listen to John Sina, I didn't mean to interrupt you. The Chicago fans are great, because they booed him. Like Bambi could have come out and they'd like listen to me Bambi, we know your mother got shot, but how dare you get in the face of one Juan Cina?

So we also reminisced about his own debut, because of course it was part of John Sina's open challenge when he did walk to the ring, and hey, look what I've got. I've got the US title now. So, Jonathan, if you do give me your permission, I would like to start a brand new US challenge of my own.

John Cina was like, yeah, that sounds great, as he was going to leave. And if he had left, it would have been the most anti-climatic exit ever. But of course, Samwell stopped him and said, no, John, I want to have my first challenger right now. And like the old lottery adverts, he said, it's going to be you. This really was great, especially because the fans exploded at the thought of seeing John Seeler Sammy Zane.

Even though I was sat in my own chair and said it's definitely not going to have a finish, which you didn't, you've got to give this an up. Like if wrestling is about entertaining people and just bringing the energy, well, you probably can't do better than this. Also, we will do our corny John Sina speech

when he does actually leave, but I tell you that man is a goat. The match was super duper fun as well as John Siller continues to do moves as a wink-wink, wink, nudge, to his former rivals, and he did the Kurt Angle, angle, slam, and ankle lock. He did a Kevin Owens popbauer bomb, and he also did a spear, which could be Roman

rains or it could be edge. I told you, I have never seen John Sina do a spear, so we are not living in Kansas anymore, Toto. If you really went quiet and you listened hard enough, Bill Goldberg got really mad. They then had a suplex battle, because why wouldn't you do that? And when Zane just whipped John Sina into the corner, which is the first basic move ever, all the Chicago fans went, boo, boo, you weren't allowed to touch this guy. So it really was a barrel of laughs until John Sina hit the AA and Sammy Zane kicked out of a one-two-oo. I was like, we can't even protect it on television now. Everybody has to kick out of the AA. Now, listen, it worked. Once again, the fans were well into this, but it has become my new pet peeve and I really would like to bring finishes back, which would be the BFB. That's right, the BFB movement, the bring finishes back movement, there you go. I'll probably make a t-shirt. It's just got way too out of control for me. And I may be completely wrong, I don't even know what my name is.

So I'm going to give that a little bit of a doubt. And I apologize because this match was so good. Nobody should be doing that, but it got in my bored brain. And I don't argue with this thing. I mean, look what it did. Sina also kicked out of Hva kick, which also ties in when he actually hit

Sammy Zane with a Gt, so C.M. Puck was probably giggling in the back. When John decided, you know what, I'm going to hit you with an avalanche AA, because surely that will work and we will never know the truth. Because, of course, as rumoured earlier in the day, Brock Lesnar's music hit. He walked out. He killed Sammy Zane with an F5, so now we've got to do that program too.

Otherwise, Sammy Zane is going to look like a silly billy when he grabbed John and he didn't give him just one F5, he gave him a couple. I have a lot to say about this. Now right after this, we went backstage and we saw Brock Lesz say right into a camera, John Sina, I'll see you at wrestlepalooza, bitch. I was like,

nope, nope, nobody is allowed to say that sentence. You cannot act all tough when also using the word wrestleploozer. You should have said something like, hey, John Sina, your little scallywag. I will see you at that, wrestle ploosa, we will have a good old time and do a dance. It just sounded stupid.

Now, a Cad Bad can get away with it because you wouldn't expect it from a Cad Bad.

You think a care bear was going to be nice and the care bear said, bitch, you'd be massively confused. And let's just keep things straight. This match was wonderful because of the fans and everything else that went into it. Plus it is John Cena versus Sammy Zane, so I'm giving it up. But it does put a one of the dick bored, distraction, interference and confusion. But more importantly, even taking all the outside of wrestling stuff, this Brock Lesnar return doesn't make any sense. He returns at SummerSlam, then vanishes for a month, doesn't say a word, then he comes back here, he drops John Sina, says like four words, and now he's gone again, or that apparently is going to do a promo next week. You wouldn't like it if any other wrestler made a big comeback and then did this, so we can't give this a pass either, even though it helps that John Sina is the most powerful man on the planet. So I do have to give it it down. It just doesn't make any sense. And it is two plus two equals potato. But if we were stacking it in like importance order, that would be down there and the absolute wonderfulness of Sina versus Zane is up here. To the point I'd probably watch it again. It's a shame we didn't have a finish because that would have made it even better. But if you do have 15 minutes a day, you should probably go and watch it. Carmelo Hayes then realized he was trapped in Groundhog Day

because he went up to Nick Aldous. He said, I really want to have a US title shot. When the Miz walked in and said, no, he doesn't. He wants a tag team title shot instead. So my hand went up. I was like Carmelo. Sammy Zane has quite literally just started an open challenge.

Just go answer that. And I tell you, Nick Aldous said he take this under advisement.

If we get the Wyatt's first of Miz and Carmelo, who lost recently, I'm not going to do anything about it, it would just sum up wins the losses. It's also actually quite momentous time for the history of WWE, because this must be the first time a general manager had heard the words

geese title shot and said no. Usually like, ah yeah, you can do whatever you want. When we cut to Alistair Black versus Damian Priest, I was a bit of a sad panda that we didn't get this on the pay-per-view, but actually it's like an under-the-radar feud, because these two always cook. and Alistair attack Damien here at the start when they just threw bones, as the commentators wanted to tell us over and over again, that Alistair Black has spent his life mastering martial arts. Did you know Alistair Black has spent his life mastering martial arts? Or by the way, you get the point. I did have a moment where I kind of stared off into the distance and thought to myself,

wasn't it nice when Carmela Hates and our truth were involved in this?

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