Hey Deservianven listeners, I'm going to do one of my favorite things today, which is to read your emails and respond to them. Let's get to it.

As first email says, in one of your reaction videos, you talked about the bias most people have towards relationships with a big age gap.

What you stated in that video was exactly what I needed to hear.

It made me feel lighter and made me realize that me and my partner are not sick.

I've been hiding our relationship from many important people in my life.

If you were involved in a relationship with a big age gap,

how would you deal with revealing its existence to others? Would hiding it from certain people

be the smarter way? End of email. Yeah, hard to say. I might have your family members listen to our deep dive on age gaps.

It's called age difference in relationships. It's on YouTube. It was published back in 2017 and we go into all the me and

Alberto go into all the research or I go into all the research and Alberto reacts to it.

The other points I might make is that there's a difference between

exploitative relationships and non-exploitative and sometimes age has to do

with that. So we're not so concerned about age.

That's a heuristic that we, it's a shortcut that we're trying to determine if a relationship is exploitative, if it's harmful, or if one person

automatically doesn't have power.

So two 13 year olds in a relationship, most people would say, okay, that's fine, or two 17 year olds, they say, say okay that's fine or to 17 year olds they say okay

that's fine so why can't a 17 year old date a 45 year old why can't a 15 year old

student date a you know their teacher who is 35 years old. Well the

it's not the age it's the exploitation of the younger person.

And we tend to look to age as a shortcut for determining the exploitation potential of a relationship.

So that's one thing that I would explain to your friends.

It would be like, so I have something to tell you,

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