Adolescence Isn’t What We Think: The Real Reason Your Teen Isn’t Listening to You, Why They Push Back, and More w/ New York Times Journalist Matt Richtel

Raising Good Humans

Voicing Change Media

Kids & Family, Parenting, Education

4.7 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 21 November 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week’s episode, I talk with New York Times reporter Matt Richtel about what adolescence actually is—and why so much of what we think we know about teens is outdated. We discuss an entirely new framework for understanding the adolescent brain: a period designed for intense information processing, where kids are constantly reconciling what they’ve been taught with a fast-changing world. We unpack why teens don’t listen (and why it’s not personal), why overwhelm shows up as emotional explosions or rumination, and how parents can help their kids “reboot” instead of pushing more information into an already overloaded system. We also explore what adults can model—curiosity, coping skills, and the ability to live with ambiguity—to support teens through this challenging, necessary, and deeply meaningful developmental stage. I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans Here: https://bit.ly/3rMLMsL Subscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: draliza.substack.com Follow me on Instagram for more: @raisinggoodhumanspodcast Sponsors: Kendra Scott: Visit kendrascott.com/gifts and use code RGH20 at checkout for 20% off ONE full-priced jewelry item FlavCity: Visit Shop FlavCity.com and use code GOODHUMAN15 at checkout for 15% off Suvie: Check out Suvie’s Black Friday Sale for extra savings while it lasts. Go to Suvie.com/Humans to get $150 off plus 16 free meals when you order during their sale Monarch: That’s 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code HUMANS KiwiCo: Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code RGH iRestore: Reverse hair loss with @iRestorelaser and unlock HUGE savings on the iRestore Elite with the code HUMANS at www.irestore.com/humans Saks: Head to saks.com Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
0:10.2	Welcome to Raising Good Humans.
0:12.0	I'm Dr. Lisa Pressman.
0:13.5	Happy Thanksgiving, anybody who's celebrating.
0:16.9	And I hope you get a little time with your family this week.
0:20.7	I have a great episode to share
0:23.1	with you with Matt Richtel, who's an American writer and journalist for The New York Times. He's a
0:27.3	Pulitzer Prize winner. And he wrote an amazing book called How We Grow Up, Understanding
0:32.4	Adolescence. Remember, adolescence starts younger and goes longer and anybody really thinks.
0:40.1	It's more like a nine to 28 year old kind of thing when it comes to brain development.
0:47.9	And I think when you start to see your emerging adolescence around nine or ten, you start to get surprised.
0:56.6	Like, wait, what's going on?
0:58.8	And then, of course, teenagers, that's kind of more traditional adolescents, are a big part
1:07.2	of this conversation as well.
1:08.6	And if you're up for it, please definitely write a
1:11.7	nice review on Apple Podcasts and give a good five-star reading. Sometimes people feel inclined to
1:17.2	write negative reviews and less inclined to write positive ones. And the positive ones are much
1:23.4	more helpful in getting the word out. By day, I'm a New York Times reporter.
1:27.8	It's been 25 years.
1:29.2	You've been awarded some things.
1:33.0	If you want to share that.
1:34.2	I think I have a mug that says,
	...

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