I'm going to the racist first.

God, I'm starting to like, I don't know what to feel about John Mayer.

You bit by the mayor. He bit me because I love the way he talks about Jessica Simpson.

I like that he is not too good for her and doesn't pretend that she was not what he calls

sexual napalm.

That's what he says.

It was like napalm.

Sexual napal.

So Playboy asks him, before you dated her, did you think of the kind of

guy who would never date Jessica Simpson? He says, that's correct. But there are people in the world

who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit

the rest of your life? Did you ever say, I want to quit my life and just fucking snort you? If you charge me

$10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you. Wow. It's romantic.

Her dad, the preacher, must be delighted to read this interview. Oh, it gets worse. Here's what I

really want to do at 32. Fuck a girl and then as she's sleeping in bed, make breakfast for her.

So she's like, what?

You gave me five vaginal orgasms last night and you're making me a spinach almond.

You are the shit.

That's his dream.

That ain't melted feta, lady.

Oh, he was, oh, no.

Yeah.

...