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Today's episode of a new one told story is brought to you by all dry toilet papers. Kyle, you use dry toilet paper.

Dude, it's time to have a serious chat about your bathroom habits. It's time to start to stop using a

product that humanity has unanimously sworn by for centuries and start using wet ass wipes that make

your rectum leak after you pull up your slacks. Imagine a girl coming over to your house and she goes

in she thinks you're a good guy, you respect her and she goes in to take a pee and she only sees heavily

gendered wet wipes. What are these what are these cis-hat wipes doing in here? I don't want this this this

this head wipe in my pussy. Yeah, where's your dry? I want to I'm when I'm done pooping. I want to

still feel like I'm leaking. You know what I'm saying? I know I want to feel like I have ulcerative

colitis. That's right. And rectal bleeding. I want to feel like I just had hemorrhoids latched.

That's right. The circumference of my ass to be sopping wet. That's right. It comes in mint

chill. If you want to feel like you just did a rumple mince, anima. A rumple mince, anima.

That's a product. And the magic of that is you're still covered in shit.

And nothing's cooler than just a little bit of poop. Just a little bit of poop in your underwear.

I'll be that pretty motherfucker. Cut that. No, we can't cut that because I responded too

quickly. It will sound jarring. We have to keep that line in the podcast. What was that?

Asap Rocky said it. Okay. And then soft moors at SUNY Binghamton were like that was low key hard.

So is it's desirable to be a pretty motherfucker? I guess he had everyone on that wave

changing their names to asap Braxton. Asap Braxton.

During that time, that was like early Trump, right? That was maybe late Obama.

Late Obama could have been late. 1413. The early Trump era was funny to me because

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