My father had a massive heart attack. In less than six months, my mother was diagnosed with two forms of dementia.

So I did not have a lot of time to prepare.

I didn't see my mom start to dwindle.

She wasn't even getting Social Security for goodness sake.

So for those people outside of the United States she was less than

65. She was still working and had a very vibrant practice. She was a CPA, she did a lot of

really fancy technical stuff in a courtroom.

So to think that her brain was failing her was like,

ah, no, I don't believe it.

So I didn't believe it.

So I think that was a part of it. It was like, well, it can't be her brain.

So a part for a while, I thought the doctors were wrong. I kept grabbing my mom and

a suitcase and taking her to various specialists like,

ah, listen, we need just one more test.

Something's wrong with her, but it can't be a brain, this lady's brilliant.

Once I chose to believe that dementia was happening in her body, then I felt like it was too heavy.

Like the subject matter was too heavy to bring up in casual conversations with strangers who say what do you do.

But eventually I said I'm an advocate. I'm really from Montgomery, Alabama. I was, you know, the civil rights struggle and the rights for equity of all human beings matters a lot to me.

And I thought, okay, Jay, Sweet sweetheart maybe this is a part of your story and if not

you then who would if not now then when so how can you bring it up in a way that's not uncomfortable if you happen to be at a museum and

everybody is in formal wear, tuxedos and the ladies are in their best door.

What can you say that won't make everybody leave and stop talking to you?

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