Zuhi! Zuhi! Which is of course Chinese for Achtung Achtung.

Oh yes, the only language appropriate for these extraordinary times.

Now if you're listening to this podcast in the spring of 2020, you'll understand the

tone and content entirely. If you're listening a year later, while sipping a latte in Starbucks,

there still is a Starbucks after dropping the kids at school. If there still is a school,

you'll only have a distant recollection of what we're going on about. Unless of course

we're all pushing around shopping trunks like the bloke in road. But for those of you,

downloading in a timely fashion, welcome to We Have Ways of Making You Talk.

So the nation is on a war footing. We keep being told this. We've been moved, so we've

moved the podcast to DEF CON1. James and I will continue to broadcast from silos in West

London, a wheelchair throughout the crisis. I've broken with my normal home working routine

and I'm sat in my underpants in my office. Actually, you know what? I don't know about you,

Joe. I don't know about you, Joe. But my other half is now at home because her office

have been dispersed. You know, they've been sent home and she's working on a laptop.

My home working routine has been found out.

So early, sorely found out the business of me just doing what I want when I want. They're

actually being their routine eating lunch at five to 12. I mean, honestly. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, I've been busted. I know, I know, I know how you feel. I mean, I've got a

four under the roof now because Ned is back. We managed to get him back from New Zealand.

You've got Daisy coming home from school this afternoon. That's it. Probably till September.

Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, it's quite as if you've got needs needs must and we're doing

our bit by not actually sitting in a room together and gobbling on each other whilst pronouncing about

...