96 - Friday Fix: 5 Reasons You Should Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

The Verywell Mind Podcast

Dotdash Media Inc.

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education

5 • 703 Ratings

🗓️ 13 August 2021

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Whether you’ve gone through a bad breakup or you’re struggling with a financial situation, tough times make it tempting to feel sorry for yourself. But self-pity is self-destructive. It’s much different than sadness. Allowing yourself to feel sad can be part of the healing process. Feeling sorry for yourself, however, will keep you stuck in a place of pain. So on today’s Friday Fix, I share why it sometimes feels good when we feel sorry for ourselves. I also explain the top five reasons why you shouldn’t do it and the concrete strategies that can prevent self-pity. These strategies can also help you find your way out if you’re already feeling sorry for yourself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.
0:22.9	This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.
0:46.0	Okay. You're listening to the Friday fix.
0:51.0	Every Friday, I share a quick mental strength exercise that will help fix the thoughts,
0:55.5	emotions, and actions that drain you of the mental strength you need to be your best.
1:01.4	Today I'm talking about how to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Before I get into how to stop doing it, though, I just want to take a minute to define the difference between being sad and feeling
1:06.2	sorry for yourself. Sadness is normal. It's a healthy emotion. It can help you honor something that
1:12.3	you've lost. So you should feel sad when your friend moves away. Or you should feel sad if you
1:18.3	can't see your family. And there will be plenty of times when maybe you feel sad and don't even
1:23.3	necessarily know why. That's okay too. Being sad can help you appreciate the times when you
1:29.6	aren't sad. Happiness feels way better when you aren't sad anymore. It might even inspire you to
1:35.4	take positive action. Self pity is different, though. It's when you overestimate how bad
1:41.7	your problems are and underestimate your ability to cope with those
1:45.2	problems. You might think things like, oh, no one understands me. My life is worse than everyone
1:51.3	else's and there's nothing I can do to make this better. Thinking like that just keeps you
1:56.5	stuck in a place of pain. It doesn't actually help you work through anything. Here are five reasons
2:01.9	why feeling sorry for yourself is harmful. Number one, it leads to more uncomfortable emotions.
2:08.8	When you allow self-pity to take hold, it causes you more distress. You'll get angrier,
2:14.3	lonelier, and more resentful. Number two, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
2:20.7	Self-pity is going to affect your performance. If you're convinced that you're going to fail,
2:25.5	you aren't going to do a very good job. You'll actually increase the likelihood that you're going to
2:30.2	fail. Number three, it prevents you from dealing with other emotions. Self-pity gets in the way
	...

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