#935 - Crappy Childhood Fairy - Limerence Explained: Why Do We Get Addicted To People?

Modern Wisdom

Chris Williamson

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 4.6K Ratings

🗓️ 1 May 2025

⏱️ 86 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Anna Runkle, also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, is a trauma educator, Youtuber and an author. Why do some people fall so hard, so fast? It might not be love, but it could be limerence. So what exactly is limerence, what triggers it, and how do you handle it, whether you're experiencing it or the one receiving it? Expect to learn what limerence is and how it differs from infatuation or a crush, what the main emotions behind limerence is and what causes it, why some people get hardcore limerence and others don’t, if limerence is a type of mental illness or if it can be caused by just good sex, how modern media depictions of functional and dysfunctional relationships contribute to limerence, if limerence if more common in women or men, and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals Get up to $50 off the RP Hypertrophy App at https://rpstrength.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Get the best bloodwork analysis in America at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom - Download Anna Runkle's free guide, Signs of Limerence.https://bit.ly/4lRHWGvClick here to order Anna's books Re-Regulated https://hayhs.com/r_pp_hc_az and Connectability https://hayhs.com/c_pp_hc_az.Click here for Anna's YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/CrappyChildhoodFairyWebsite: https://crappychildhoodfairy.com - Extra Stuff: Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: https://tinyurl.com/43hv6y59 #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: https://tinyurl.com/2rtz7avf #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: https://tinyurl.com/3ccn5vkp - Get In Touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Limerence. I didn't even know that it was a word that existed until recently. And after doing a
0:08.3	little bit of research, it seems to be maybe one of the hottest topics on the internet, especially
0:14.2	something that doesn't even exist in the DSM yet. What is it? Can you give an introduction to those people like me who have no idea that
0:22.6	this is even a word? Limerance is this handy word for this thing that most people have
0:28.0	experienced a little bit of, and some people unfortunately have completely lost their
0:32.2	happiness over. And it was the phrase that the word limerance was coined in the 70s. There was a
0:40.3	psychologist named Dorothy Tenov, and she was sort of referring to that Twitter-pated falling
0:45.3	and love feeling. But it's evolved to mean something much more than that. It's that feeling,
0:51.2	but then all of a sudden it sort of goes into hyperdrive and becomes this addiction level obsession with another person who you can't be with,
0:59.0	generally, either because they're not into you, they're not available, or they don't even
1:03.0	exist. Like, there are people who feel limerent about fictional characters. Right. Okay, so
1:09.8	the rabbit hole goes quite deep. You mentioned there that everybody has it in
1:15.0	small doses. Does everyone who falls for someone go through limerence? Well, technically speaking,
1:21.0	yes, but then it sort of morphs into, especially if that person is in your life and maybe
1:25.4	reciprocates your feelings, it'll turn into a more
1:29.1	ordinary kind of love where, you know, because of the toothpaste cap and the toilet seat and
1:33.5	just regular stuff of life, the magic spell starts to dissipate and real love can start to form.
1:40.8	So technically you can call that early love limerance. But these days, I think we're talking
1:45.3	about it as something else and is very, very common as a trauma symptom. How is limerence different
1:51.7	to an infatuation or a crush? I think infatuation is the right word. It's just that infatuation
1:57.4	ends before it turns sick. And so, you know, limerence, when it just gallops
2:03.2	forward, it's really like up on a level of heroin addiction, I would say. I've known heroin
	...

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