Well I won't set on mother too. She said the things like mothers do. But mothers can be wrong sometimes.

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All right so Matt, going back to your story, you took us to the point of kind of being suicidal.

Tell us how you've journeyed from there. Yeah and it kind of, I was starting to cross into the

unhealthy part where I was writing suicide notes and you know searching out methods you know online.

And Google, like if you kind of do some of that, like Google actually pop up numbers that say,

do you need help and they'll give you you know numbers to contact to like a suicide hotline.

If you know in the moment so you can see it right there. So yeah I just, I was in a dark place and

went back to my psychiatrist and just at some levels and had some medications and

that was a couple months ago and things have gotten better. We've gotten to the point where kind of

like suicide ideation is now only you know a handful of times a day instead of kind of the like

all consuming like it was before. My anxiety hasn't quite gone down as much and so we're still kind

of trying to tweak, tweak things for that. But I'm now more I guess cautiously optimistic

whereas before I thought and thought it was a near certainty that I would die by suicide. I'm now

a little bit optimistic that I can kind of get through this. That's kind of where we are now.

Yeah. Okay well Matt I want to thank you for being so vulnerable because you're sharing really

intimate stuff, really personal stuff and that's not easy. So I want to thank you for being

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