#93 Caretaker Essay to My Parents

The Not Old - Better Show

Paul Vogelzang

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 106 Ratings

🗓️ 28 March 2017

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Caretaker Essay to My Parents

The Not Old Better Show Reflections

I wish I could find any humor in taking care of my parents right now. I'm exhausted, and I think that's part of it, but we've always had a great relationship and now I find that, because they both so desperately need my attention and care as they age (my mom is 87 and my dad 86), that's it's become about performing a caretaker role, and not so funny after all. But, there are dear sweet moments, and tough ones, too.

I'm not an only child and I have no siblings to assist, and share with, but 'in the moment' it's me, whether counting out the dosage of medication, helping with clothing, bedding, washing, cooking, it's all tough and not a lot of funny to be found. I've been at their home for 4 weeks now, and I wish I could find some humor. But, the duty of being a caregiver to an elderly parent is an important one, but can often be stressful, and maybe the "laughter is the best medicine approach" while the smart play, isn't applicable in this instance.

Thanks.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the not-old better show and your host of all vocal saying.
0:10.0	As most of you know I've been in Modesto, California for about the last month and a half, really,
0:18.0	taking care of my elderly parents.
0:22.0	Thank you all very much for your well wishes. I really appreciate it. It's meant a lot. It's been tough frankly. I'll be 60 in May. My parents are 87. My mom is 87. My dad's 86. They haven't
0:39.8	been well these last few years. I'm particularly my dad, but recently my mom has had to have
0:46.2	knee replacement surgery and I have really always had this great relationship with my folks, but I have really struggled with
0:58.6	finding anything terribly pleasant about being here recently, I think of course that's part of it.
1:07.2	And I really have felt that, you know, I'm really performing this role of caretaker which is not so fun.
1:18.6	You know really my parents have done so much for me so I'm you know I feel very of course obligated to be
1:27.8	here it's important there have been some very sweet moments, but some real tough ones too.
1:34.7	I'm not an only child.
1:35.8	I have siblings to assist and share with, and they've been great, and they know that.
1:40.6	But in the moment, right now, it's me, whether, you know, counting out the dosage of medication,
1:47.0	helping with clothing, bedding, washing, cooking, it's all tough and there's not a lot of funny to be found frankly.
1:57.0	You know I've been in their home now for just over a month and I wish I could find some humor. But the duty of being
2:07.2	a caregiver to an elderly parent is an important one but it's a stressful one and maybe laughter is the best medicine
2:16.8	approach maybe that's the smart play but it just it doesn't always work I remember a Ross Chast cartoon, of course,
2:24.9	Ross Chast, the great cartoon is from the New Yorker, and her memoir, Can't we talk
2:30.1	about something more pleasant, which is wonderful, about how much her parents loved and adored each other. And you know I
2:39.3	mentioned one of those dear sweet moments.
2:42.8	While here with my dad, during the time that my mom was in the rehab hospital following her
2:49.1	knee replacement surgery, my dad described their first date in vivid detail telling me about how he fell in love
	...

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