925: How to Stop People-Pleasing and Feeling Guilty with Dr. Aziz Gazipura

How to Be Awesome at Your Job

How to be Awesome at Your Job

Decisions, Collaboration, Wins, Mockaitis, Mental Health, Education, Speaking, Success, Interview, Fun, Career, Business, Development, Health & Fitness, Winning, Careers, Training, Thinking, Sharpening, Skills, Writing, Selfhelp, Self-improvement, Meaning, Money

4.5 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 4 January 2024

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Aziz Gazipura explains the dangers of people-pleasing tendencies and shares actionable steps for overcoming it.

— YOU’LL LEARN —

1) The massive costs of being a people-pleaser

2) How to not feel guilty when saying no

3) A surprising strategy to build your discomfort tolerance

Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep925 for clickable versions of the links below.

— ABOUT AZIZ —

Dr. Aziz is a clinical psychologist and one of the world's leading experts on social confidence. In 2011, Dr. Aziz started The Center For Social Confidence, which is dedicated to helping everyone break through their shyness and social anxiety.

Through confidence coaching, audio and video programs, podcasts, a detailed blog, and intensive weekend workshops, Dr. Aziz has helped thousands of people all over the world increase their confidence and lives out his mission: To help every person who is stuck in shyness liberate themselves to pursue the relationship, career, and life they have always dreamed of.

He lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife Candace and son Zaim.

• Book: Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself (site)

• Book: Less Nice, More You: Stop Hiding & Become The Most Bold, Authentic Version Of You Now

• Mini course: “5 Steps to Unleash Your Inner Confidence”

• Organization: Social Confidence Center

• Website: DrAziz.com

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW —

• Study: Effect of Pain Reprocessing Therapy vs Placebo and Usual Care for Patients With Chronic Back Pain - A Randomized Clinical Trial

• Book: Free to Focus: A Total Productivity System to Achieve More by Doing Less by Michael Hyatt

• Book: The Way Out: A Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven Approach to Healing Chronic Pain by Alan Gordon, Alon Ziv

• Previous episode: 830: Lessons Learned from the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness with Dr. Robert Waldinger

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the How to be Awesome at Your Job Podcast.
0:05.0	So I was just speaking with a woman just two days ago.
0:08.0	She's about mid-40s, successful in her career, has a family, has a husband, and feels incredibly lonely, and doesn't even really know what to change out there anymore, because I have all the things. And she's lonely because no one not even her husband really knows her
0:26.5	people pleasing it's a survival strategy that you picked up that's based upon an idea, a conclusion, that's not even true.
0:36.3	Being people pleasing is not the same thing as being kind or generous or loving or whatever
0:41.2	it is that you actually value as a human.
0:44.0	And that people pleasing is more of a compulsion and not a choice.
0:50.0	When you feel real guilty, you can examine it and say,
0:52.0	wait a minute, what?
0:53.2	What rule did I break?
0:55.1	And there's a shortcut.
0:56.7	The question is, in this situation, what do I want?
1:00.7	That's Dr. Aziz-Gazapura. He's a clinical psychologist and one of the world's leading experts on social confidence.
1:06.5	Through his books and workshops, he's helped thousands of people overcome their people-pleasing tendencies to live healthier and more confident lives.
1:13.6	So you'll learn one, the massive costs of being a people pleaser.
1:16.6	Two, how to not feel guilty when saying no.
1:19.4	And three, a surprising strategy to build your discomfort tolerance.
1:23.4	I'm Pete McKitis, this is how to be awesome at your job,
1:26.2	and now here's Dr. Aziz.
1:28.0	Dr. Aziz, welcome.
1:30.3	Thank you, Pete.
1:31.3	Glad to be here.
	...

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