This episode of The Nocturness is sponsored by First Responderance First,

an initiative of Harvard-T-H-Chann School of Public Health, Thrive Global, and Creative Artists

Agency that takes a whole human approach to first responder and healthcare workforce well-being.

Learn more at first-responders-first.org.

Support for the Nocturness comes from the California Medical Association.

At the Nocturnist, we are careful to ensure that all stories comply with health care privacy

laws. Details may have been changed to ensure patient confidentiality. All views expressed are those

of the person speaking and not their employer. This episode of The Nocturness covers some pretty difficult territory.

We hear stories of mental illness, suicidal thoughts, and even suicidal actions.

So I really encourage you to turn this off if you feel like you're not in a space to hear

that kind of thing.

And if you do listen, just make sure to take really good care of yourself before, during,

and after listening. I also want to acknowledge that people can sometimes have really strong feelings about

the language that we use to describe mental illness. And I want to point out that all of the storytellers

in this episode use their own language and their own words to describe their experience.

I have a second-year medical student in Canada.

I have both bipolar disorder and an OCD spectrum disorder called trichotillomania,

which is a big word, and it involves compulsive hair picking for those people who don't know.

You can find a group for every I get-dentity category in medical school,

like being a woman in medicine, being queer in medicine, etc., etc.

But there's no group for being chronically ill or mad in medicine. But it can also be really hard because you can feel so alone in your experience and think you're the only one.

I'm also really intentional in calling it mental illness rather than some vague idea of mental health challenges.

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