88 - Friday Fix: How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

The Verywell Mind Podcast

Dotdash Media Inc.

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education

5 • 703 Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2021

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why would a med student party all night before a big test? And why would someone who has almost all their debt paid off go out and buy a car they can’t afford? Self-sabotage is a strange concept. We claim we want to reach a goal, and we complain about the obstacles that threaten our chances at success. Yet more often than not, the biggest hurdle to achievement is ourselves. We sabotage ourselves in some pretty clever ways. It’s a phenomenon I see quite often as a therapist. Yet some people don’t even realize they’re doing it. Why on earth would we blow our own chances of success? In this episode, I explain the psychology behind self-sabotage including the seven major reasons why we do it. Becoming more aware of these reasons can help you recognize self-sabotage when it’s happening. I also explain how to fix it so you can get out of your own way and start working toward your goals. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.
0:22.9	This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.
0:45.9	Okay. You're listening to the Friday fix.
0:50.9	Every Friday, I share a quick mental strength exercise that will help fix the thoughts,
0:55.0	emotions, and actions that train you of the mental strength you need to be your best. Today we're going to talk about self-sabotage, why we do it and what it is and how to stop.
1:01.9	But before we do, here's a couple of questions for you. Why would a pre-med student who needs to
1:07.5	ace an anatomy exam go out and party the night before instead of staying home to study.
1:13.5	And why would someone who is just five pounds away from their weight loss goal eat an entire pizza
1:18.8	and then declare their weight loss dream a hopeless cause?
1:22.6	People who do these things might come to my therapy office saying that they need more help
1:26.5	with their impulsivity, or they might ask for help increasing their motivation. Those things aren't a real
1:33.1	problem though. Self-sabotage is their problem. So that's what we're going to talk about today.
1:39.1	How do you stop sabotaging yourself? Before we discuss how to stop it, though, let me explain what it is and
1:46.1	why it happens. Basically, self-sabotage involves anything you do that ruins your chances of
1:52.0	success. Seems kind of ridiculous on the surface, right? Why would anyone sabotage their own
1:58.8	efforts to reach a goal? Well, I'm guessing that you've done this
2:02.1	before in your own life. In fact, you might be doing it right now. Maybe you don't even know
2:06.7	that you're doing it. Learning more about why it happens can help you recognize it and hopefully
2:12.5	stop doing it. Here are the top seven reasons why we engage in self-sabotage. Number one, you're trying to preserve
2:21.2	your self-esteem. Sometimes people think anyone who sabotages themselves must be afraid of success.
2:27.2	But that's not the whole story. Self-sabotage doesn't stem from a fear of success. It stems from the
2:33.1	fear that you'll try your very best
	...

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