4.8 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 26 December 2025
⏱️ 196 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
• Santa bit: hates his house, trapped at the North Pole, built his own prison
• New-year housing + Fed rate cuts/interest shifts; sponsor: Bart Marek real estate (CFL experts, referrals, free consult)
• After-Christmas mess: cleanup/trash, hangovers, household sniping, accidentally tossing important stuff
• "Best Of" setup: clips across ACT/AMT/OG/BDM/Friday Free; Friday Free framed as semi-secret; Love Thy Neighbor included
• Big thanks: T&D Media supporters + BDM members (money + community), events/merch/customer service, choosing them over other subs
• Fake tribute → clarify Tony P is alive; real appreciation; staff love for Tracy (events/Beerfest), Melissa (social/video; curates Best Of), Merchman Eric (10+ years)
• Colette/Andrea on-air counseling; Colette's media rise; joking 'no thanks' because she's doing too well
• LTN main thread: sex vs connection—love languages (touch vs non-touch), 'new love language' joke, high-libido/sex-schedule/competitive frequency talk
• Libido mismatch: exhaustion, sex feels long when you're not in it; resentment when you 'give in'; distractions/comments/chores can kill desire fast
• Biology vs emotion debate: hormones/medical jokes; expert framing—men more spontaneous desire, women often need arousal + emotional safety/connection first
• Connection fix ideas: empathy for workload, affection/conversation/help as warm-up; 'chores for sex' joke; phones/screens making partners feel unseen; groping without connection gets rejected
• Burned-out pursuer: repeated rejection → emotional shutdown; warning it's hard to reverse; address disconnection early
• Gesture fail story: wildflowers/plants meant as romance get lost in clutter/poor placement; gestures ≠ what partner asked for; define what "connection" means
• Curiosity tools: better-than-'how was your day?' open-ended questions; admit it may feel clumsy but it's genuine care
• Long-term love reality: honeymoon/limerence chemistry vs decades-long seasons; social-media comparisons distort expectations; longevity ≠ quality
• Practical 'homework': non-sex touch as glue—two 6-second kisses, 20-second hugs, cuddling without turning it into sex pressure
• Fireworks sponsor bit: preview/plan online, don't overpay big-box; escalating 'bigger fireworks' jokes
• Random riffs: White Claw flavors (session vs Surge; clementine/orange fave); beer spa disgust + sanitation questions; dream of a giant martini-glass event prop
• BDM block: tiers/schedule, app/site upgrades; 11+ year archive; protected stories + experiments like "Pukes of Hazard" and listener puke tales
• Puke highlights + open-mic disaster: food-poisoning + religious intervention injury → losing religion; concussion/freezer/bar pukes; drunk dad pukes on disabled comic's shoes; host cleanup + backlash
• Travel/adventure: COVID cancellations; South Africa; rhino dehorning conservation (heli tranquilizer, blindfold/earmuffs, horn=fingernail regrowth, secret storage, strict penalties); wild dogs + miserable moose safari/gnats/bog rant
• Old radio/prank nostalgia: open Facebook posting + planted 'evidence,' corporate reprimands, later regret about wasting time
• Home repair panic: buzzing/flicker danger signs, being talked down to; DIY vs pro, cost/insurance fear; aluminum wiring reveal (burned outlets, Illumicon/drywall confusion, inspection vs real safety)
• Personal/comfort stuff: mentor/father-figure reflections; stereotype flip when mentor posts with new Xbox; gaming talk (Diablo IV); mortgage refi sponsor (proactive review, wait for the right moment)
• Best Of guests: Green Jelly/Green Jello's Bill Manspeaker—lied into a deal, frantic claymation, MTV legend, Tool connections; Ross vs Bob Zany scheduling drama + 'final appearance' vibe
• Family/kid segments: mud walk logistics + owl-pellet misunderstanding bet; Tracy + kid guest 'White Claw kid' gag (repeatedly: no alcohol); dance-discipline talk; library macramé → earrings biz (pricing vs integrity/'no outsourcing') + handwritten card
###
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Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Ho, ho, ho. |
| 0:01.8 | This dump sucks. |
| 0:03.4 | I wouldn't buy a new house. |
| 0:05.2 | Oh, okay. |
| 0:06.3 | Well, it's a year. We're going into the new year. That was Santa Claus trying to buy a new house. Why would he try to buy a new house? I don't know. He's stuck where he is. I didn't think about that. He can't go anywhere else. He's got to live in the North Pole. Not sure. You've built your own presence, Santa. Now get to work. |
| 0:20.9 | So if you're looking to sell your house this year... the North Pole. You've built your own presence, Santa. Now get to work. |
| 0:26.5 | So if you're looking to sell your house this year or maybe buy a house. Well, they cut the Fed cut the rate. |
| 0:28.3 | Yeah, the rates are changing. |
| 0:30.8 | You've got to talk to the Bart Merrick team. |
| 0:33.0 | That's Bart Merrick. |
| 0:34.3 | My wife, Crystal Van. |
| 0:36.1 | They've been helping our listeners buy and sell houses for over a decade now. |
| 0:41.4 | And not just five or seven listeners, hundreds of listeners at this point. |
| 0:45.8 | Could be pushing a thousand at some point. |
| 0:47.6 | I don't even know, but we've got to be nearing hundreds upon hundreds. |
| 0:50.7 | Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 0:51.4 | I mean, an average of 50 a year for over a decade, that's more than 500. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, an average of 50 a year for over a decade. |
| 0:55.7 | That's more than 500. |
| 0:57.8 | And then all the ancillary referrals. |
| 1:01.1 | And the track record. |
| 1:01.9 | And the repeat customers. |
| 1:03.1 | That's something that Martin Crystal get a lot. |
... |
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