863 - Heel it Into the Carpet
A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
Tom Vann & Dan Dennis
4.8 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 12 December 2025
⏱️ 116 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
• Used Google Earth and satellite imagery to assess exterior home condition and offer free painting estimates by text
• Covered full exterior painting scope including trim, doors, garage doors, ground level, and pool patios
• Promoted Paisley Painting's quality, detail, and customer satisfaction
• Live broadcast from the Just Call Moe Studio and show open for A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
• Introduced guest comedian Amy LaCoursiere
• Joked about medication changes and mental health among comedians
• Promoted the Just Call Moe free Christmas party with RSVP, location, Elf screening, Santa photos, mascot meet-and-greet, and football-friendly timing
• Talked about Mo hosting free community events without profit motive and personal ties to the venue
• Reflected on venue changes, smoking restrictions, bar nostalgia, food love, soup jokes, and interior artwork
• Amy shared stories opening for George Wallace and why performing with him felt career-defining
• Praised George Wallace's energy, longevity, crowd work, positivity, meet-and-greets, and cross-generational appeal
• Compared Wallace and Seinfeld, fame then vs now, authenticity, persona, and modern comedy visibility
• Noted sold-out shows running long, late-night scheduling issues, and venues running out of food
• Florida stereotypes, Diet Mountain Dew jokes, health judgment mockery, and soda culture humor
• Deep dive into Andy Dick, addiction cycles, fame, recovery stories, Steve-O comparisons, and aging comedians moralizing
• Bart Marek Team shout-out, milestone BDM home sale, and Rankin & Bass–style holiday pillow gifts
• Long debate on food-delivery tipping, standards changing, $2 tips, driver pay, platform practices, and resentment
• DoorDash pepper-spray incident breakdown, motives, tip visibility, cameras, legality, and anger overriding logic
• Delivery apps vs driving yourself, cost, cold food, quality decline, sodium concerns, and Orlando sprawl issues
• Proposed delivery standard: tip as time/distance bid, roughly $5 minimum plus about $2 per mile ("Justin rule")
• Music talk: household musicians, home studio, rehearsal livestreams, monetization, Teenage Bottlerocket, and Justin Bieber examples
• Music recommendation: Sunday Mourners – "Careers in Acting"
• Sponsor segment: Modern Plumbing Industries, preventative maintenance stories, flood avoidance, and reliability
• Merch deadline reminder for shirts and straw hats before Christmas
• Plugged comedy events, Florida Comedy Coalition nonprofit, venue challenges, and Scary Mondays open mic culture
• Florida Highwaymen history: Black landscape painters, segregation, bank sales, mass output, Florida imagery, and modern value
• Listener call with personal Highwaymen art, Treasure Coast hotspots, nostalgia for banks, small-town Florida, and local landmarks
• Ozzy tribute drum-off analysis featuring Barker, Chad Smith, and Danny Carey, groove vs flash, and why audiences misjudge solos
• Broader art debate: skill vs emotion, insiders vs casuals, skating analogies, restraint over spectacle
• Roller skating and roller derby stories, aging bodies, muscle memory, hustling jokes, and physical punishment
• Nostalgia for old radio humor, memes, cubicle culture, and generational awkwardness
• Sponsor: Fairvilla Megastore for quirky last-minute holiday gifts and extended hours
• Voicemail segment, app improvements, faster episode drops, and holiday takeout talk
• Holiday food planning: burrito bar, cooking with kids, homemade routines, catering vs Cracker Barrel convenience
• Gift-identity rants: snow globes, themed decor traps, Florida beach bathrooms, clutter, and ruthless decluttering
• Childhood sleepovers, looser parenting eras, bars and rinks as hangouts, and shifting norms
• Grocery talk: Kroger delivery ending, Publix dominance, Walmart reality, alternatives, and family Walmart memories
• Target decline complaints, dirty bathrooms, gut-health jokes, and morning shopping habits
• Shared guest social handles, name-spelling confusion, heavy production schedule, holiday content push, and closing remarks
###
• Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | You need your house painted. |
| 0:02.0 | You know why? |
| 0:03.0 | Because I can see it. |
| 0:04.0 | I'm looking at it right now on Google Earth. |
| 0:05.0 | Ew. |
| 0:06.0 | Well, speaking of Google Earth, a Paisley painting will send you a free estimate if you text your name, address, and email to this number 321 696-5-4-45. |
| 0:19.0 | That will go directly to William Paisley. He can use Google Earth to give you an estimate. |
| 0:24.0 | And mention if you want your actual pool patio painted. He showed me a video the other day of his crew painting a pool patio. |
| 0:31.1 | Now you've got to do your house to get your pool patio. But include that in the text and you can get a free estimate. |
| 1:11.0 | Go to paisley painting.com. You can see all their great work. I got my house painted through Paisley painting. Multiple listeners have it. It looks really, I mean, they do such an amazing job because they want you happy. They even say it on their flyer. Happy customers are their number one priority. They love making your home look great. It makes a huge difference, and they do quality work. They'll do the front door. They'll do the garage door. They do all the trim work. They'll dig deep around, you know, so they paint all the way to the floor. They don't have asset. They don't have asset. It's paisleypainting.com. Text your name, address, and email. Get that free estimate today. |
| 1:12.7 | Live from the injured on the go, |
| 1:14.2 | just call Mo Studio. |
| 1:15.3 | It's a blast! |
| 1:17.7 | It's Orlando's own Tom and Dan. |
| 1:20.4 | Hello. |
| 1:24.7 | This is your mediocre time with Tom and Dan program. We hope that she will find our presentation, precise, joke heavy, and just bright. Thanks. Thank you. I'm Welcome to the Friday free show of a mediocre time. |
| 2:12.6 | Hey, it is another A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan's show. |
| 2:18.8 | I am Dan. |
| 2:20.0 | I am Tom Van with us today on the couch. |
| 2:23.1 | Amy LaCores, everybody. |
| 2:24.8 | How you doing, Amy? |
| 2:27.5 | Wonderful. |
... |
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