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The Peter Attia Drive

#76 - Kyle Kingsbury: Finding meaning, depression, and psychedelics

The Peter Attia Drive

Peter Attia, MD

Health & Fitness, Medicine, Fitness

4.77.3K Ratings

🗓️ 21 October 2019

⏱️ 102 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Kyle Kingsbury, retired UFC fighter and director of human optimization at Onnit, discusses the purpose and meaning that football and MMA gave him but which also acted as a distraction from his inner demons. Kyle opens up about his use of PEDs (steroids, testosterone, HGH) in college and talks about some of the misconceptions around them. Next, Kyle talks about his battle with depression and a close call with suicide that lead to life-changing experiences with psilocybin and ayahuasca—which really became the turning point in his own journey towards being more emotionally healthy, finding inner peace, and being a better husband and father. *DISCLAIMER: The substances spoken about in this episode are illegal and by no means are we advocating for anyone to use them or experiment with them. There are physical, physiological, psychological, and legal risks around the use of these plants. This conversation is purely informational only.

We discuss:

  • Growing up in a volatile home [6:30];
  • Playing college football at ASU, and letting go of NFL aspirations [15:45];
  • Kyle’s experience taking anabolics (steroids/testosterone), misunderstood science, and fear mongering [23:15];
  • Kyle’s experience with taking HGH [35:30];
  • The Whizzinator [36:45];
  • Struggles with depression and drugs, and a lack of meaning after football [41:00];
  • Kyle’s close call with suicide, and a spiritual experience [47:15];
  • Finding refuge with mixed martial arts, and Kyle’s early success in cage fighting [52:30];
  • Lessons from Kyle’s first loss in fighting, and training for the UFC [59:45];
  • First experiences with psilocybin and ayahuasca, quieting the monkey mind, and finding inner peace [1:07:15];
  • Overt vs. covert depression, depression in men vs. women, and the transition from adaptive to maladaptive behaviors [1:16:00];
  • Peeling back the layers with ayahuasca: Kyle tells stories about the most transformative experiences with psychedelics [1:19:00];
  • Does Kyle feel like he has lost his “edge” as a result of his journey? [1:26:15];
  • Where would Kyle be had he not discovered the power of psychedelic medicines? [1:29:45];
  • Parenting: Stopping the cycle of trauma, reconnecting to our ancestral roots, and Kyle’s opinion on ayahuasca as a potential tool for kids [1:31:40];
  • Relationship with parents, blind spots, compassion, and forgiveness [1:37:15]; and
  • More.

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Show notes page for this episode:peterattiamd.com/kylekingsbury/

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey everyone, welcome to the Peter Atia Drive. I'm your host, Peter Atia.

0:10.0

The drive is a result of my hunger for optimizing performance, health, longevity, critical thinking,

0:15.7

along with a few other obsessions along the way. I've spent the last several years working

0:19.6

with some of the most successful top performing individuals in the world, and this podcast

0:23.8

is my attempt to synthesize what I've learned along the way to help you live a higher quality

0:28.3

more fulfilling life. If you enjoy this podcast, you can find more information on today's

0:32.5

episode and other topics at peteratiamd.com.

0:41.6

Hey everybody, welcome to this week's episode of The Drive. I'd like to take a couple of

0:45.4

minutes to talk about why we don't run ads on this podcast. If you're listening to this,

0:49.4

you probably already know, but the two things I care most about, professionally, are how to live

0:54.6

longer and how to live better. I have a complete fascination and obsession with this topic. I practice

1:00.6

it professionally, and I've seen firsthand how access to information is basically all people need

1:05.9

to make better decisions and improve the quality of their lives. Curating and sharing this knowledge

1:11.1

is not easy, and even before starting the podcast, that became clear to me. The sheer volume of material

1:16.5

published in this space is overwhelming. I'm fortunate to have a great team that helps me continue

1:21.8

learning and sharing this information with you. To take one example, our show notes are in a

1:27.0

league of their own. In fact, we now have a full-time person that is dedicated to producing those,

1:31.8

and their feedback has mirrored this. So all of this raises a natural question, how will we continue

1:38.0

to fund the work necessary to support this? As you probably know, the tried and true way to do this

1:43.5

is to sell ads, but after a lot of contemplation, that model just doesn't feel right to me for a few

1:49.8

reasons. Now, the first and most important of these is trust. I'm not sure how you could trust me

1:55.5

if I'm telling you about something when you know I'm being paid by the company that makes it

...

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