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Over It And On With It

73: How to Let Go of Dysfunctional Relationships For Good With Danielle

Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler

Mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.81.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 February 2017

⏱️ 40 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today’s episode is about how to let go of relationships from your past, and how to heal old wounds. Danielle is consciously aware of what she is going through, but is still triggered by things in her past. One frustrating part of the human experience is when we are consciously aware of something, but we are still affected by it in a negative way. We have to be gentle with ourselves, and know that when we go through a change, it is typical for a part of us to be a little freaked out. And, we don’t get over it by giving ourselves a pep talk. We have to go back, and give ourselves permission to feel our sadness or our fear. Danielle was aware of her anxious attachment, and she knew it needed to stop. Her willingness to get over it created the insights and shifts she had during our conversation. If you want to get over a relationship you are invested in, you have to be willing to let them go. Danielle never felt chosen by her biological dad. She had more pressure on her, in her family, than support. She was there for everybody else, but no one was there for her. It was important to get Danielle out of her rational head, and into her heart. She consciously knew her issues, but she kept attracting the same type of relationships, because she never shifted emotionally. My work with Danielle was about going back and understanding what her younger self really needed. I asked her to go back and speak to herself as if she was her father speaking to her, and tell herself the things she wished he would have said. Let go of any belief someone will choose us and make us worthy. I created an Over It and One With It survey, just for my listeners, and I would really appreciate it if you would take 2-5 minutes to fill it out to let me know what you like about the show, and what you want to hear more of. I will be co-hosting a retreat for men and women with Aubrey Marcus in Austin, TX in April. More details to come! Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are there things you consciously know, but you are still being triggered and affected? ● Are you still attached, in a relationship or energetically, to an ex or another person in your life? ● Do you think there could be some hurt involving your parents, you haven’t quite dealt with? ● Do you keep attracting the same type of person over and over again? Danielle's Question: Danielle was in a dysfunctional relationship for three years, and is still attached to the person, even though they broke up nine months ago. Danielle's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She kept her feelings hidden as a child. ● She chose a partner who reinforced her childhood belief that her feelings don’t matter. ● Her ex was never there, and was never consistent with her. ● She started her dysfunctional relationship shortly after her father passed. ● She is still wanting a relationship with her father. ● She was told she was supposed to save her parent’s marriage. ● She may not have discovered who she really is. ● She will have more compassion for herself. ● She will allow herself to feel her feelings without overthinking them. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She needs to connect to her inner child, and make herself know she is worthy. ● Attend the Women’s Spring Retreat in March. ● She should use the Release Writing or Temper Tantrum tools in Expectation Hangover. Assignments: ● Be honest with yourself about any dysfunctional relationships or anxious attachments, and be willing to let them go. ● Stop using your head so much. ● Allow someone else to help you, by getting a coach, or going to a retreat or workshop. Sponsor: Freshbooks Get a Free 30-Day Unrestricted Trial to Online Accounting Software. Enter “Over It and On With It” in the ‘How did you hear about us?’ section. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — Send your questions to Christine, to be answered on Coaches Corner.

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is episode 73 how to let go of dysfunctional relationships for good with

0:06.1

Danielle

0:07.8

welcome to over it and on with it. I'm your host Christine Hasler and for over a decade I've been a life coach, speaker, and author.

0:15.0

Each week you'll hear me work directly with a caller as I coach them through a goal they want to accomplish or an obstacle they may be facing.

0:21.0

I'll provide a blend of practical and spiritual advice

0:24.3

as well as tangible actions you can apply to your own life.

0:27.5

Now let's get back to the show. I've got a really beautiful

0:38.2

coaching session for you today. We cover a lot of ground about how to let go of relationships from your past that you know you need to move on from.

0:46.0

We also talk about healing old wounds with parents and how often we logically or consciously know something to be true but some part of us has not

0:54.8

fully accepted it and so we're still getting triggered. And always I break down the

0:59.5

coaching session afterwards and give you takeaways so be sure to listen to that after I play the episode.

1:05.4

And I for sure will keep doing that because so many of you that have filled out

1:09.8

the survey about this show expressed how much you love the wrap up so I will continue to do that

1:16.2

I will continue to share the insights from the coaching session and give you ways that you can

1:21.0

apply them into your own life. If you haven't taken the survey for over

1:25.5

and on with it, which is basically questions for me about how to make this show better.

1:30.2

What you like about it, your listening habits, It means so much to me to get your feedback.

1:35.3

Please go to Christine hasler.com slash survey and fill that out.

1:41.5

There's 19 questions, some of them are super quick to answer, some take a little bit

1:45.3

more time, but I promise it doesn't take more than five minutes. So it would be a huge gift to me.

1:51.1

If you receive benefits from listening, this would be an amazing way to give back and support the

1:56.4

growth of the show. Another way you can support the show is to share it with friends. The more people that know about the show the more it can grow and I

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