70. What It Means to Be a Man—In Any Era: Michael Durkin
The Suzanne Venker Show
Suzanne Venker
4.9 • 650 Ratings
🗓️ 8 November 2020
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What do women find attractive in a man? Why are millennial men at such a disadvantage when it comes to marriages and relationships today? How can men rebuild themselves after a divorce?
These are just some of the questions author Michael J. Durkin will answer today. Durkin is an author, speaker and self-described maniac committed to the strengthening of men, women, families and the planet. He is the author of 8 business books and has spoken in front of audiences as few as 6 and as large as 26,000!
He is the creator of the Men of Honor Podcast, which strives to help men become better fathers, husbands, sons, boyfriends, and community leaders. Michael weaves his own wisdom and personal experiences into his teachings on marriage, business success, parenting, fitness and masculinity. He is passionate about keeping families together, making marriages joyful, and giving children a place to grow and learn. He is also fan of putting the hot, seductive, alluring SEX back into marriages where it belongs.
Michael has survived and re-built his life after a devastating divorce. He is married to a woman he dubs The Beautiful Bonnie, and they live happily tucked away in the woods of Northwestern CT.
IN THIS EPISODE:
6:40 What women find attractive in men
8:45 Nagging
10:00 How men have listened to a narrative that tells them they need to be soft and are not supposed to be “doers” and men became confused
10:55 Why men “showing up” in their marriages causes their relationships to change
12:26 Every problem a man has with communication, arguments and sex has to do with them
13:43 Suzanne and Michael discuss millennial men
16:14 Michael explains what he thinks he did to cause his own marriage to end
17: 45 How men “jump through hoops” to please their wives
19:20 Since the sexual revolution, men have been taught through every movie and song that they need to be sensitive and emotional and how this has destroyed men and relationships
24:00 Men need to be with other men and women need to be with other women
26:30 A woman cannot love a man she doesn't respect **
27:55 Millennial women think they need to be able to tell their husbands everything and that their husbands should be their best girlfriend
32:35 Suzanne and Michael discuss why women “test” men
37:10** The “trifecta of chaos” and why men in today’s society need to become solid
39:40 The 3 ways men can rebuild themselves after divorce
48:38 Why sex often dies with marriage
54:25 Why “hard attracts soft” and how opposites complement each other
57:55 Suzanne discusses her coaching practice and how women have a hard time learning to “receive"
*FALL COACHING SPECIAL* Use code "fall2020" for 15% off Premarital/Newly Married 4-Session Coaching Package with Suzanne. Go to: www.suzannevenker.com/coaching
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey everyone, so I just have a quick announcement to make. |
| 0:04.0 | If you know anything about autism, you know how important early intervention is. |
| 0:09.0 | This is true of so many things in life, and it's definitely true with marriage. |
| 0:14.0 | It's always so amazing to me that we prepare people for driving, for voting, for school, |
| 0:19.0 | for just about everything except the one area where it matters |
| 0:22.3 | the most. Marriage. If you all caught my episode with Dr. Les Perrett couple weeks back, |
| 0:32.3 | according to him, 76% of married couples say they wish they would have had premarital counseling. And from couples |
| 0:39.1 | who did premarital counseling, 31% are less likely to get divorced. If I had to say what the one |
| 0:47.6 | common theme of the people that I hear from the most is, it's this statement. I wish I had known about you, Suzanne, 20 years ago. It just makes |
| 0:57.9 | zero sense to me that those of us who've been married for decades don't help the younger |
| 1:01.7 | generation with what we've learned the hard way. I think that's so interesting that some people |
| 1:06.3 | take an attitude of, well, they need to figure things out on their own. I can't get in their way. Or just because |
| 1:12.4 | that happened to me, doesn't mean it'll happen to them or whatever the case may be. I mean, |
| 1:15.8 | the reality is, what is the purpose of having all that experience and not passing it on? I just really |
| 1:20.6 | feel like that's our duty as, you know, the older generation. And it doesn't mean that you're |
| 1:26.4 | going to save everyone. It just |
| 1:29.1 | means that you've at least done your part. So this is why I'm offering 15% off for the next |
| 1:34.4 | month of my premarital slash newly married coaching package. Just go to suzannevenker.com |
| 1:40.7 | slash coaching and scroll down to the first package that you see there and put |
| 1:44.6 | fall 2020. That's fall F-A-L lowercase, fall 2020 to get 15% off this four-session package |
| 1:51.4 | that highlights the four main potential stressors of every marriage. Again, that's |
| 1:56.9 | Suzannebanker.com slash coaching. |
... |
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