7.5 The Sweetness of Solitude with Francesca Specter

Saturn Returns with Caggie

Caggie Dunlop

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality, Self-improvement

4.8 • 892 Ratings

🗓️ 29 May 2023

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week’s episode of Saturn Returns Caggie is joined by renowned podcast host and author of the book “Alonement: How to be Alone and Absolutely Own in”, Francesca Specter. After her breakup several years ago, Francesca coined the term ‘Alonement’ and lives in alignment with finding joy in solitude. Francesca shares insight into the value of self love, making decisions for yourself and thriving in your own company. It is no secret that people often desire love and the comforts partnership can bring us and whilst these are things to be celebrated, there is also great value in creating the space to rediscover parts of ourselves that we may have abandoned in order to mould ourselves in relationships. They also discuss the loneliness that can stem from the pressure to conform to the life choices that our friends and family have made, for instance marriage and children. This sparked the discussion on the value of diversifying our circle and questioning if we are living in true alignment with our own desires. Caggie and Francesca also delve into the societal stereotypes that contrast the celebrated image of a “bachelor” with the pitiful perception of a “spinster”, and how these stereotypes can be negated by the transformative power of finding joy in solitude. You can find Francesca Specter at @chezspecter on Instagram and Twitter. --- Follow or subscribe to "Saturn Returns" for future episodes, where we explore the transformative impact of Saturn's return with inspiring guests and thought-provoking discussions. Follow Caggie Dunlop on Instagram to stay updated on her personal journey and you can find Saturn Returns on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Order the Saturn Returns Book. Join our community newsletter here. Find all things Saturn Returns, offerings and more here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello everyone and welcome to Saturn Returns with me Kaggy Dunlop.
0:05.0	This is a podcast that aims to bring clarity during transitional times where there can be
0:10.2	confusion and doubt. In today's episode of Saturn Returns I'm joined by the lovely Francesca
0:16.2	Specter who is the author of an incredible book called Alownment. Alownment is a non-fiction book that explores the concept of being alone and the benefits of spending time in solitude.
0:28.0	In this episode we really unpack not only the art of being alone and how to actually lean into that.
0:37.0	We discuss healthy independently, we discuss attachment styles, we explore the sort of dance and the eternal struggle between healthy interdependency and freedom,
0:51.0	alone time and togetherness, safety and closeness versus mystery and danger, these
0:56.0	sort of dualities and dichotomies that come when we go into relationship, and I really resonated
1:01.4	with so much of what she said about self-abandening in relationship.
1:05.7	I think especially as women it's something we are programmed to do and so when we get used to that
1:11.9	pattern and recognize it it it can make us pull in the other direction.
1:17.0	And then it's about kind of finding that happy medium, which really this conversation is all about. I also found it really interesting when we discussed how when people are in marriages or have children
1:29.3	and we see that as a version of happiness and success that we should all be striving to achieve,
1:35.8	but very often we're not hearing or seeing the full picture and the reality and the struggles of what that might be like, because people don't necessarily want to share it.
1:45.2	And I find that a very true thing.
1:48.0	It's also really worth considering like what do you truly want what is right for you not just echoing the
1:56.6	voices of those around you or doing what everyone else is doing because that's
2:00.9	what your social circle is doing like really questioning these things. And I hope that this conversation
2:07.7	gives you some food for thought in that.
2:11.1	Francesca, welcome to the Saturn Returns podcast. Thank you for having me on. How are you doing today?
2:16.8	Doing really well. The sun is shining and feeling alive for the first time in 2023 and very ready to do this podcast actually I've been listening back to past
2:26.1	episodes and it's very nice to guess on one of your favorite podcasts. Oh really?
	...

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