69 - Friday Fix: A Science-Backed Strategy for Finding Courage When You Need it Most

The Verywell Mind Podcast

Dotdash Media Inc.

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education

5 • 703 Ratings

🗓️ 30 April 2021

⏱️ 8 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Whether you want to bring up a difficult subject with a loved one or you want to join a new class, fear can be a powerful obstacle. In fact, any uncomfortable emotion (like sadness, anxiety, or anger) can stand in between you and your goals if you let it. In today’s Friday Fix, I share one of my favorite strategies for finding courage when you need it the most so you can face your fears, make a change, or do something you’ve always wanted to do. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.
0:22.9	This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.
0:48.8	Okay. Today I'm sharing a science-back strategy that will give you courage when you need it the most.
0:51.7	It turns out if you want to be brave, you need a plan.
0:53.3	Not just any plan, though.
0:55.7	You need an if-then plan.
1:01.0	Here's a story from my therapy office about a woman who tried this strategy so that she could face her fears. Her name was Alyssa, and she was in her mid-30s. She was unsatisfied with just
1:07.4	about every area of her life, her finances, her fitness level, and in the romance department.
1:13.2	We decided to tackle some of those issues one at a time. She wanted to start working out so she could
1:18.1	feel healthier. But she said, I'm afraid to go to the gym. I'm out of shape. I don't know how to use the
1:23.7	machines. And I'm intimidated by all the beautiful fit people who work out around me.
1:29.4	But even though she said she was afraid of the gym, that wasn't actually what she was afraid of.
1:34.6	She was afraid of feeling uncomfortable. And that was something we could address with an if-then plan.
1:40.8	Basically, she needed to create a plan that would give her confidence that she could handle feeling uncomfortable.
1:46.0	So we talked about it and ultimately she landed on this.
1:50.0	If I feel nervous when I'm at the gym, then I'll send my best friend a text message.
1:56.0	Alyssa had this really cool best friend who had a knack for making her laugh, especially when she was nervous.
2:06.1	And she knew that if she texted this friend, she'd feel better. Looking at her phone would help her feel less awkward right in the moment than if she was standing around doing nothing. And she knew
2:10.8	that if her friend replied, she'd feel even better. Armed with that plan, she found the courage to go
2:16.1	to the gym. And sure enough, while she was there,
2:18.9	she felt nervous. So as soon as she started to get anxious, she took out her phone and sent her best
2:24.2	friend a text message. In the message, she said, I feel like an out of shape hippo right now.
	...

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