683: Why Expert Negotiators Love to Hear “No”
BiggerPockets Real Estate Podcast
BiggerPockets
4.8 • 16.5K Ratings
🗓️ 3 November 2022
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Chris Voss is an expert negotiator. After going from a street cop to the FBI and later thriving as a hostage negotiator, he wrote the world-famous book, Never Split the Difference. This book has served as a masterclass in negotiation for almost every field of work, including real estate investing. Although many of Chris’s examples come from life-or-death situations, the same rules and tactics can be applied to real estate investing. That is exactly why Chris pivoted and started coaching real estate agents to become better negotiators.
But maybe you’re not an agent. Maybe you’re just trying to get your first or next deal done, working with a tough buyer/seller, and feeling like you’re making no headway. Chris has seen this time and time again. An overly aggressive buyer comes in, lowballs a seller, the seller then paints the buyer as the enemy, and the duo does a dance to the death ending in no deal done and frustrations at all-time highs. This is NOT the way to do real estate deals, and Chris has some advice that’ll help you change the way you (and your agent) get things done.
Chris goes in-depth on a few concepts, such as why “no” is actually what you want to hear, how to form “calibrated questions” that get you what you want, and why you’ll need to start using “tactical empathy” if you want to close deals faster. These are some of the same tactics that co-host Rob recently used to get a multimillion-dollar property, without much money out of pocket. No matter your skill level, number of deals done, or years of experience, this advice from Chris could catapult your investing to the next level.
In This Episode We Cover:
Reviewing key lessons taught in Chris’s classic, Never Split the Difference
Why most real estate agents will work against their clients, instead of with them
Using overcommunication to develop instant rapport with a buyer, seller, or client
“Tactical empathy” and why it’s a brilliant way to keep your opponent open to offers
Asking “calibrated questions” that make sellers feel safe when working with you
Building a negotiation scarecrow and making someone else (not you) the instant, uniting enemy
And So Much More!
Links from the Show
Find an Investor-Friendly Real Estate Agent
Listen to All Your Favorite BiggerPockets Podcasts in One Place
Learn About Real Estate, The Housing Market, and Money Management with The BiggerPockets Podcasts
Get More Deals Done with The BiggerPockets Investing Tools
Find a BiggerPockets Real Estate Meetup in Your Area
BiggerPockets Podcast 260 with Chris
The Happiness Advantage TED Talk
Books Mentioned in the Show:
The Full-Fee Agent by Chris Voss
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
SKILL by David Greene
Connect with Chris:
Click here to check the full show notes: https://www.biggerpockets.com/blog/real-estate-683
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is the Bigger Pocket podcast show 680-3. |
| 0:04.6 | People feel trapped, they feel like they're being led into a trap, concern is a negative emotion, |
| 0:10.4 | they're automatically getting dumped. If they say no and they don't feel trapped, |
| 0:17.1 | then they're not going to be getting dumped in the moment. They're going to be more likely to hear |
| 0:21.2 | you out, they're going to be more likely to consider the options, they're going to be more likely to |
| 0:25.8 | think of the next steps. And it's the same neuroscience rule, let me keep you out of negative thought, |
| 0:31.9 | the chances we can collaborate effectively are much higher because neither one of us are getting |
| 0:36.8 | dumped. What's going on everyone, this is David Green your host of the Bigger Pocket's Real |
| 0:40.4 | State Podcast, the best, the highest ranked and the baddest real estate podcast in the world. |
| 0:46.8 | I am joined today by my co-host Rob Abbasolo, who I love dearly, as well as a fantastic guest on |
| 0:52.8 | today's show. We have none other than world renowned expert negotiator Chris Voss, author of |
| 0:59.9 | Never Split the Difference and other books coming in to talk with us about how to negotiate |
| 1:05.0 | real estate specifically. Chris has recently been introduced into the world of real estate and |
| 1:09.7 | the negotiation that happens there in and he shares tons of amazing advice for how you can do a |
| 1:14.5 | better job negotiating for the houses you want. And if you're an agent or a loan officer, |
| 1:19.1 | how you can do a better job negotiating for your clients. Rob, what were some of your favorite parts |
| 1:23.7 | that today's show? Honestly, man, I just, I felt you were in your, your, your element on this one. |
| 1:28.2 | You were, you were giving all these anecdotes about your real estate career and your brokerage. |
| 1:33.6 | And then he was like, yeah, and this is how the negotiation should have gone. And then he was like, |
| 1:37.7 | you're like, yeah, and then this situation, and I was just like, why would I talk? Why would I talk? |
| 1:41.8 | I, I, I am watching any master class between two class acts on the art of negotiation. So we get |
| 1:49.2 | into things like tactical empathy and really kind of understanding people where they're at and |
... |
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