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Let's roll, let's roll, never get their control.

They've got their money, but we've got our soul. Let's roll, let's roll, never get their control. Welcome to

Welcome to redacted tonight tonight.

Seeing as it's a new year, I thought it would make sense to review the core problem of the current existential crisis facing humankind.

To simplify that sentence, shit be fucked up! And here's why.

Capitalism, seen here in its natural state.

Now, I know it's easy for your average person to say, well, my problem isn't capitalism. My problem is fill in the blank with words like poverty, drought, illness, spider infestation. My goddamn idiot, deadbeat son-in-law who thinks he'll be rich one day because he invented a new way to cut up a pizza. I'm telling you, new, dad, the rhomboid meat lovers is a million-dollar idea.

Just float me a million dollars, and then the pie's the limit.

That's our motto.

But all of our individual problems eventually come back to the market economy

that has put profit for an elite number of rich dickholes

above life, liberty, happiness, the natural world, shame-free love handles, and downloading

Betty White's consciousness into Siri so that we could all enjoy her lovable humor for the rest

of time even when we don't think our phone is even listening to us.

Why has that not happened yet?

So here's a quick refresher on capitalism.

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