661: Winifred Reilly | It Takes One to Tango

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Health & Fitness, Education, Business

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 17 October 2017

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Winifred Reilly (@winifredmreilly) has been a marriage and family therapist for nearly forty years, runs relationship blog Speaking of Marriage, and is the author of It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse -- and How You Can, Too. "Somebody goes first -- so let that person be you." -Winifred Reilly The Cheat Sheet: Why is the "it takes two to tango" concept flawed when it comes to relationships? Where does fairness go when we take responsibility upon ourselves to course correct a relationship? How are relationships like velcro? One belief about relationships that many people have backwards. It's more important to know what to do when we disagree than trying to avoid disagreements altogether. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/661/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Rhone makes gear for the modern man who demands modern style, comfort, and quality. Click here or go to rhone.com and enter promo code CHARM at checkout to get 20% off your first purchase! Combining high-tech sensors, blockchain protocol, and smart contracts, Ambrosus is building a universally verifiable, community-driven ecosystem to assure the quality, safety, and origins of products. Find out more about Ambrosus here! Four Sigmatic mushroom coffee with lion's mane gives you the boost of coffee with half the caffeine. Try Four Sigmatic's AoC coffee bundle here, and use code CHARM at checkout for free shipping! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Success! How I Did It is a business and career podcast hosted by Business Insider Editor-in-Chief Alyson Shontell; it features conversations with today's most inspiring business, sports, entertainment, and government leaders. Here's how to subscribe! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I sometimes think about this as the Velcro theory of relationships.
0:04.8	If I don't have the fuzzy part, you ever have Velcro that doesn't stick?
0:15.7	Welcome to the Art of Charm. I'm Jordan Harbinger and I'm here with producer Jason de
0:20.0	Philipo. On this episode we're talking with Winifred Riley. She is the author of It Takes One to Tango,
0:26.4	how I rescued my marriage with almost no help from my spouse and how you can too.
0:30.5	At first I was like, I don't care about this, you know my marriage isn't on the rocks,
0:33.5	I don't know, this isn't a big deal. She has serious gems. There's a lot of knowledge dropped
0:39.5	in here. Today we'll discover a specific belief about relationships that many people have
0:44.3	backwards. This one actually surprised me. We'll shatter the idea that it takes equal effort and
0:48.8	participation when it comes to problem solving inside the relationship and we'll uncover hidden
0:54.1	rules and visible scripts that are created inside relationships, usually without saying a word
0:59.7	that can often cause problems that are disguised as other causes in the first place. And she's
1:04.6	been a marriage therapist for decades here so you can imagine the kind of wisdom we're bringing here.
1:08.4	So if you're in any kind of relationship at all or you want to be, you'll really dig this episode.
1:14.0	Now let's chat with Winifred Riley.
1:16.5	You would think any therapist would be speaking from here's my experience with what works with my
1:26.8	clients and then they would not write a book if they had exactly the same wisdom as everybody else.
1:32.9	And yet here we are with 8,000 books that I'll say the same thing except what you've got is even
1:37.6	the title is counterintuitive. It takes one to tango how I rescued my marriage with almost no help
1:42.8	from my spouse and how you can too. I got to say first things first from the title on you rescued
1:48.4	your marriage with almost no help from your spouse. There's a lot of people right now going well if he
1:52.8	or if she doesn't want to work on this then maybe I don't want to be married. So what happened here?
	...

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