Welcome to Redact their money, but we've got our soul.

Let's roll, let's roll, never get their control.

It's ain't got their money, but we've got our soul.

Welcome to Redacted Tonight.

This is the show where Americans in America covering American news are called Foreign Agents.

Recently, writer Caitlin John Stone penned a column about the differences between horrible totalitarian states

and lovely free democracies like we have here in the U.S.

So let's take a moment to go through some of those differences and expand on her points, because

it's important we all understand the difference between good guys like the United

States and bad guys like most other countries.

In totalitarian regimes, they have massacres and wars. In free democracies,

they have humanitarian interventions. It sounds so lovely, doesn't it? Humanitarian intervention.

Like we did in Iraq, in Afghanistan, in Syria, and Libya, and Yemen, and like we want to do, in Iran, in Venezuela, and China, and North Korea.

Don't be upset. We just want to intervene in your humanity.

It will only take a minute, and we'll use loom.

In totalitarian regimes, they use torture.

In free democracies, they use enhanced interrogation techniques.

Yes, it's just enhanced interrogation.

Enhanced with what? Uh, torture, mainly.

Yeah, we just sprinkle a little torture on there, just a taste.

Kind of like how I once sold my king-sized mattress to someone,

but to make it sound a little better, I called it an enhanced bedtime device.

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