If someone throws a fit when you set a boundary, it's just more evidence that the boundary is needed.

My name is Andrea, and this is adult child. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean.

Yeah, yeah.

What you holding on to,

What you holding on to,

but just let it all go.

What's making you slow now?

Let it all go.

Welcome back to adult child, where we take a deep dive into the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional family.

For any new listeners, my name is Andrea,

and I am a shit show.

So today, we are joined by Barb Nangel, who is a fellow recovering adult child and

shitcho and she's also a Boundaries coach. Andrea, are you speaking of foreign language? What is this word called boundaries? I know it is also the first time I'm hearing it as well, but I guess a boundary is something that one sets and apparently it's something that adult children have a hard time setting.

So we're going to be getting into boundaries. Well first we're going to get into Barb's story. It's just a nice chat

between two fellow travelers. You know my favorite thing that she says in the interview is she makes a comment or she says this shares this comment that was made to her by by two

gentlemen who were both in AA and ACA and essentially what they told her was that you know in AA in the steps it doesn't say that you have to stop drinking, but you can't recover unless you stop drinking.

And in ACA, it doesn't say in the steps that you have to set healthy boundaries but in order to

recover you must learn how to set healthy boundaries and you know I often talk about

how this adult child recovery process is about discovering our true selves.

And boundaries are a way that we do this,

because boundaries are limits that help us define the self. You know they create the distinction of this is me and that is you and

unfortunately most of us have a real hard time setting boundaries because we were not taught healthy boundaries growing up

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