#627: How to Deal With Jerks, Bullies, Tyrants, and Trolls

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.7 • 14.5K Ratings

🗓️ 15 July 2020

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

There are some people in life who are more than unpleasant, more than annoying. They're real, genuine a**holes. My guest today has written the preeminent field guides to identifying, dealing with, and avoiding all of life's jerks, bullies, tyrants, and trolls: The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide. His name is Bob Sutton, he's a Stanford professor of organization and management, and we begin our conversation together with how Bob defines what makes an a-hole an a-hole, what causes their jerkiness, and the costs of having such disagreeable people as part of an organization. We then get into the circumstances of when being a jerk yourself can actually be advantageous. We then turn to how to deal with the jerks in your own life, including distancing yourself from them, deciding you're going to be better than them, and imagining you're a jerk collector encountering a new species of jerk. Bob explains smart ways to fight back against jerks, and gets into the wisdom of documenting their jerkiness, why it's occasionally helpful to take an aggressive stand, and how even Steve Jobs learned how to be less of an a-hole. We end our conversation with how to build a jerk-free workplace. Get the show notes at aom.is/jerks.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Brat McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness podcast.
0:11.4	There are some people in life who are more than unpleasant, more than annoying, they're
0:15.2	real, genuine, f**k souls.
0:17.2	My guest day has written the pre-minute fuel guide to identifying, dealing with and avoiding
0:21.1	all of life's jerks, bullies, tyrants and trolls.
0:23.9	His first book is the No A-hole rule, the second one is the A-hole survival guide.
0:27.3	His name is Bob Sutton, he's a Stanford professor of organization and management, and
0:31.0	we begin our conversation together with how Bob defines what makes a jerk a jerk, what
0:34.9	causes their jerks, and the cost of having such disagreeable people as part of an organization.
0:39.5	We then get into the circumstances of when being a jerk yourself can actually be advantageous.
0:43.7	We then turn to how to deal with all the jerks in your own life, including distancing yourself
0:47.2	from them, deciding you're going to be better than them, and imagining your a jerk collector
0:51.0	encountering a new species of jerk.
0:52.9	Bob explains smart ways to fight back against jerks and gets into the wisdom of documenting
0:56.5	their jerkingness, why it's occasionally helpful to make and address a stand, and how
0:59.8	even Steve Jobs learn to be less of an A-hole.
1:02.0	We enter conversation with how to build a jerk-free workplace.
1:05.1	After the show is over, check out our shownuts at aawim.is slash jerks.
1:16.0	Alright, Bob Sutton, welcome to the show.
1:21.0	It's great to be here.
1:23.5	So you are a professor of management science at Stanford University, but because of an
1:29.0	article you wrote and then two books you've written, you become known as the A-hole guy.
	...

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