610: Why Your Identity Outside Of Motherhood Matters So Much

Shameless Leadership

Sara Dean

Education, Management, How To, Business, Self-improvement

4.7 • 800 Ratings

🗓️ 27 December 2021

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In those first few months after becoming a mom, you start to feel like all your other identities are being stripped away. 97% of your attention goes to this baby and the other 3% is spread across your past identities like partner, friend, employee, athlete, artist, free spirit, independent woman - where you feel like you’re only showing up as a shell of your former self in any of these formerly cherished roles. It took me a few years to figure out who I was beyond a mom. There was no going back to my old roles and identities because some just didn’t fit anymore and the ones that did still fit were dressed totally differently and felt so unfamiliar. Yes, I was still a wife, but in an “I love you and can we not talk because I’m too tired to talk or listen” kinda way. Yes, I was still a business owner, but in a “cut-to-the-chase, I only have time for the essentials” kinda way.. Yes, I was still a daughter, but in an “I can call you at nap time, and can only talk for 20 minutes because I also have to shower, eat lunch, prep dinner, do laundry, and clean the freaking breast pump parts” kinda way. As I came out of this new mom fog (which took a solid 3 years, btw), I started to catch glimpses of who I was becoming: A business owner who could move mountains with very little sleep A daughter with healthier boundaries A wife who could relax and have fun and talk about something other than the baby. A friend who was ready for new friend adventures. A colleague who was a fantastic listener and advisor. A storyteller who could make people laugh and cry on demand. A coach who could help people see their own power in their lowest moments. An athlete who could dump 2 hour workouts of the past and squeeze in 20 minutes of sweat to feel like a total badass on any given day. A student open to learning about the world and all people in new and different ways. In this episode, I share how understanding the evolution of my identity (or rather identities) made a huge difference in my ability to show up for my life and really build a life I love that, yes, includes motherhood, but is not only about motherhood. Links Mentioned: Register for my Plan & Prep Pajama Party Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is the Shameless Mom Academy episode 610.
0:04.2	Show notes for this episode, including any links mentioned in the episode, can be found by going to shameless mom.com and clicking on episode 610.
0:16.7	Welcome to the Shameless Mom Academy. I'm your host, Sarah Dean.
0:20.7	I'm here to give you and other
0:22.2	passionate, driven, unapologetic moms, tools, resources, and a little bit of humor to help you lead
0:28.4	more positive, powerful, and purposeful lives every damn day. One of the best things about the
0:33.8	Shameless Mom Academy is our community. So be sure to join us in our free private
0:37.7	Facebook group to connect with other shameless moms just like you. You can find us over at
0:42.7	shamelessomom.com forward slash Facebook. All right, let's dive into today's episode.
0:52.2	Hello, Shameless moms. Happy Monday. If you're listening in live time, it's the Monday after
0:57.0	Christmas. Oh my gosh. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Happy almost New Year. You might be in that
1:02.8	window between Christmas and New Year's where one minute you're like, oh, it's the holidays and
1:06.9	it's so magical. And then the next minute you're like, send these people around me back to work
1:11.2	and send these children back to school. So wherever you're at, I hope that you are doing well
1:15.5	and I hope that you're enjoying some peace and quiet question mark in this season. Or maybe you're
1:21.0	listening after the holidays and you're like, yeah, thank God we're back to normal. In any case,
1:25.1	I'm so happy that you're here and I'm really excited about our topic
1:28.2	today. We're digging into something that matters a lot. And I feel like it's something that I
1:34.0	haven't dug into in the podcast and I haven't dug around in it in a minute, but it's something that
1:38.7	comes up all the time when I do interviews. So I think it's worth digging into more and having a
1:43.5	bigger conversation about this. And I think it's worth digging into more and having a bigger conversation
1:44.3	about this. And I think it's a really great time of year to have this conversation because we're
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