I wouldn't say that I considered myself to be an attractive person until my

appearance drastically changed when I was sick.

I remember when I lost my hair, I lost about 50 pounds

walking down the street in New York City

and realizing nobody was cat calling or whistling, I seemed

almost invisible and it made me realize that I was used to a certain kind of attention that I hadn't even recorded or really been aware of until it was absent.

But I'll also say that in a way to be like scrubbed of not just your looks, but what

felt like to me like my femininity or my sexuality was also liberating. I remember being able to have

certain friendships with men that I wouldn't have been able to have, I think,

pre-diagnosis because I felt comfortable.

It was just totally off the table.

And there was a sense of vulnerability,

but also great openness because all the usual things that you're

consumed with in your early 20s dating and looks and body image or whatever it might be just weren't even really on my mind or

on anyone's mind in those hospital rooms. Hello there and welcome to at the end of the tunnel. I'm your host Light Watkins and if you are a long time

listener of this podcast I appreciate your listenership and your support and

your shares and messages and reviews. If you're listening to at the end of the tunnel for the first time, thank you for giving it.

A listen, you're in for a treat because this is a podcast about something that I think we could all use a little bit more of,

which is hope, especially if you're having a tough day or week or year,

or especially if you've experienced loss or illness or just some life altering news.

I profile individuals who've also gone through some trying times and in the process they've

found the silver lining or they turn things around in a way that not only benefits their situation but it helps a few others or it helps a lot of others.

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