6. “We can’t afford to live in NYC, but my wife doesn’t want to leave the city”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Investing, Society & Culture, Relationships, Business

0.0 • 0 Ratings

🗓️ 24 August 2021

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jessica grew up wealthy in New York City. She can't imagine her life anywhere that's not within walking distance to the coffee shop, the best schools, and her parents (who live two blocks away). Her husband, Nathaniel, is building his business and it’s been difficult getting it off the ground. For a while now, Jessica's been absorbing most finances and feels that the situation would improve if Nathaniel contributed just an extra $100 to living expenses. Jessica and Nathaniel struggle when it comes to communicating with each other. In fact, they spend 20 minutes answering my first question before I can get a word in. The truth is, They're both so fixated on telling their story, they do not realize that neither of them is listening. I hear anger, resentment, exhaustion… what do you hear? It takes a while to get to the numbers, but we start crunching after clearing some of the other issues. The results are extremely surprising. Sometimes, our attachment to the story we tell ourselves can cloud the reality in front of us. Moving is complicated, but it doesn't have to be a step back. Listen to see what to do when your financial reality doesn’t match the vision you had of your ideal life. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I do wish my parents helped more, a hundred percent, but they're very old-school, they're
0:10.9	brilliant.
0:11.9	The husband should be making money, the husband should be providing and everything.
0:15.3	It becomes a big fight, and we try to make up at the end of the night, but it adds up.
0:20.6	We're living month to month, and I didn't think it was going to be like that before we
0:24.7	got married.
0:25.7	If you want me to provide, we've got it down great.
0:29.4	I can't keep providing a lifestyle that we can't afford.
0:35.0	Meet Jessica and Nathaniel.
0:36.7	Jessica grew up rich, but now she and Nathaniel are struggling to make ends meet.
0:41.8	Aside from two kids, I'm a husband, I have a dog, I'm doing everything to length just
0:47.9	to stay afloat.
0:48.9	I just want to be able to meet, I just want like every month just to be able to pay
0:53.3	the rent, to pay the food, to pay the school's sorry, so I'm scared to look at my bank account
1:01.3	because it's like it's diminishing every day.
1:04.2	I keep telling her that I didn't move to New York to be a taxi, but I was told to be a taxi
1:15.4	if you have to.
1:17.4	Do whatever it takes, work in a bakery, after work, go to another job and do your night
1:22.6	job and do whatever it takes to provide for the family.
1:27.5	But I work hard, I know I work hard, I have a limit to what I'm going to do.
1:33.1	People think in Montreal where I came from, they think I married into big money and now
1:38.6	I have a good, I'm set up for life, but it's really not like that at all.
	...

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