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An Old Timey Podcast

57: PATREON BONUS: Windshield Wipers!

An Old Timey Podcast

An Old Timey Podcast

True Crime, History, Comedy

4.91.3K Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2025

⏱️ 122 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Picture it. Ontario. 1953. It was Robert and Phyllis Kearns’ wedding night. Bob did his best to open the champagne, but the cork shot out and smacked him square in the eye. He screamed! Phyllis screamed! There was blood everywhere!

Bob ultimately went blind in that eye, but the experience got him thinking about eyes and how they work. So, years later, when he was driving in the rain and his one-speed windshield wipers went too fast for the sprinkle, he thought to himself, “I wish windshield wipers worked more like an eyelid.” And since Bob had a PhD in mechanical engineering, he immediately got to work on the first intermittent windshield wiper. Things went great for a minute! …and then they got terrible.

Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from:
“The flash of genius,” by John Seabrook for The New Yorker
“Inventor Winning Long Legal Battle With Auto Maker : Patents: Robert Kearns developed the intermittent windshield wiper more than 20 years ago. He claims the car companies stole his idea.” by James Risen for the Los Angeles Times
“An obsession with justice and auto parts,” by Michael Cieply for The New York Times
“Accomplished, frustrated inventor dies,” by Matt Schudel for the Washington Post
“The epic, decades-long battle between Ford and a small-time inventor,” by Zachary Crockett for The Hustle
“Wiper man Robert Kearns won his patent fight with Ford, but that didn’t mean he was out of the woods,” by Ken Gross for People.com
“Alabama woman stuck in NYC traffic in 1902 invented the windshield wiper,” by Joe Palca for NPR
“Who made that windshield wiper?” by Dashka Slater for The New York Times Magazine

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Well, hello there.

0:01.5

Bonjourno.

0:02.5

You know something, we are taking the month off, but we're putting out some of our favorite bonus episodes every Wednesday in the main feed.

0:11.3

And this one, I know it sounds boring.

0:13.6

I know you saw the title about windshield wipers and you thought, I'll pass.

0:17.4

Don't you dare pass on this one.

0:19.1

This story is outrageous.

0:20.5

It's about a man who does a great

0:22.1

thing and then bad things happen and he handles himself very, very poorly. Kristen, I got to tell you,

0:27.9

some of our best episodes are about some of those mundane things you can think of. Okay. It's true.

0:34.7

You're going to look at windshield wipers in a whole new way, and I know you think about windshield wipers constantly.

0:41.2

Sometimes I get in car wrecks because I'm just focused on the windshield wipers.

0:44.9

We've all been there, Norm.

0:46.9

We hope you enjoy this episode, and we really hope you enjoy it so much that you decide, my God,

0:53.1

I got to have more of these two.

0:54.8

I got to get on over to patreon.com slash old-timey podcast and reap the rewards of joining the community.

1:02.0

Norm, tell them why they should join now.

1:04.7

In the month of June, we're doing a special promotion, our $10 pig butter investor tier,

1:08.9

which gets you ad-free episodes, video episodes, 10% off merch,

1:13.8

signed card and stickers, access to our trivia.

1:16.8

Access to trivia.

1:17.9

They can play trivia.

...

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