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The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

#56 Understanding & Healing Anxious Attachment with Jessica Baum, LMHC, Psychotherapist

The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

Sean Jameson

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

3.8899 Ratings

🗓️ 14 August 2024

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Our early experiences with primary caregivers can profoundly affect our relationships later in life — often in ways that are deeply unconscious — and it takes conscious work to change our patterns and facilitate healing. Psychotherapist, Jessica Baum, joins us today to guide us through the different attachment styles and unpack how our early experiences shape adult connections. Tuning in, you’ll learn about the differences between anxious and avoidant attachment styles, why these types tend to be drawn to one another, and how you can support your partner if they are either of these types. We discuss what secure attachment looks like, the benefits of it, and why it’s essential to have a sense of safety in your relationships. Our conversation also unpacks the importance of setting boundaries, the healing practices in Jessica’s book Anxiously Attached, and how parents can support secure attachment in their children. Tune in to learn all about relational patterns and how to embark on a journey toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • What led Jessica to the field of psychotherapy.
  • How she came to specialize in co-dependency.
  • Imago therapy: how it helps us heal original wounds through our relationships.
  • What secure attachment looks like.
  • Anxious attachment and the signs that you might have this attachment style.
  • Steps you can take to start healing from anxious attachment.
  • Healing practices in Jessica’s book, Anxiously Attached.
  • Understanding how memories and original wounds are stored in the body.
  • The importance of setting boundaries for healing to take place.
  • Why setting boundaries requires support.
  • Parenting styles that prevent anxious attachment in children.
  • How parents can support a secure attachment in their child.
  • Assessing what level of anxiety is normal (especially in our current society).
  • The definition of avoidant attachment.
  • Why anxious and avoidant individuals tend to be drawn to one another.
  • How social media and dating apps could be contributing to anxious attachment.
  • What you can do to support an anxious or avoidant partner.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Jessica Baum — https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/

Jessica Baum on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-baum-lmhc-cap-038a1538/

Jessica Baum on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc/

Be Self-Full — https://www.beselffull.com/

Relationship Institute of Palm Beach — https://www.relationshipspb.com/
Anxiously Attached https://www.amazon.com/Anxiously-Attached-Becoming-More-Secure/dp/0593331060

Imago Relationship Therapy — https://harvilleandhelen.com/initiatives/what-is-imago/

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

There's an abandonment wound that we're usually conscious of.

0:03.3

So we will try to keep people close.

0:05.7

We will self-sacrifice a lot.

0:08.1

There's a conscious fear of abandonment.

0:09.9

There's an unconscious fear of intimacy.

0:12.2

So we're not always conscious of the fact that

0:14.4

we're scared of slowing down and being with our own abandonment wound and being

0:18.2

intimate in that way so we do a lot of like maneuvering around sometimes in

0:22.0

relationships anxious people can be a little bit

0:24.0

controlling because they're scared to be left alone.

0:27.0

This is the Bad Girls Bible Podcast. I'm your host Sean Jameson and this is the place where I interview

0:39.2

experts and professionals and everyone in between to teach you how to dramatically improve your

0:44.3

relationships and have more enjoyable sex more often. If you're not already

0:49.7

subscribe to the Bad Girls Bible Podcast. You just need to open your

0:53.6

podcasts app search for bad girls Bible and hit that subscribe button so you get the

0:59.5

latest episodes delivered straight to you the moment they are released.

1:05.6

Today I'm talking to Jessica Baum, she's a psychotherapist

1:09.7

founder of the self-fulfilled method, and she's also the author of the book

1:14.1

Anctiously attached Jessica. Thanks so much for coming on the show. Thank you so much for having me. I'd love to start off with you a little bit about your background and how you came to be a psychotherapist and right anxiously attached.

1:30.0

Oh yeah, sure. So I'm a psychotherapist here in Palm Beach, Florida and originally I went into the mental health field because I had my own struggles with depression and anxiety and I I really wanted to help people who were struggling with mental health because for me it was like having a broken leg that no one could see and I became very fascinated with you know all different types of mental health issues that you can't see because I knew

1:55.1

how real they were and I knew how much other people were suffering.

1:59.3

As I started my practice over 15 years ago, I specialized in codependency, family systems

...

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