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Stiff Socks

54: The Jerk Off Suicide

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.87.3K Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2020

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The bois discuss the fact that Michael doesn’t like his feet touched, would you have sex with your step mom, and the 4 dates before sex rule. Oh... and how Trevor once hooked up with a girl that wore a necklace full of her grandmas ashes! BRO, WHAT!!!?!!

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Transcript

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0:00.0

My dick my dick my boss and my sack my dick my boss my dick and my sack

0:10.2

Huh

0:13.0

Dude episode I have no idea 53 baby 53

0:18.2

54 really

0:20.2

Yeah, okay, you right you right cuz 53 the one year baby. Yeah, the one year. I don't do anniversary's bro

0:26.1

I'm not good at this shit do not do the anniversaries. I don't know

0:30.0

Never have one long enough. That's hilarious. I've only I've literally gone three months. That's my long story shit

0:35.6

I talked about this is that what is that why I don't know to celebrate

0:38.6

I'll be like what should what do we do?

0:41.1

Fucking I don't know isn't hilarious that you celebrate like something that should happen, you know

0:47.5

I mean you're like oh we check mine here. Yeah, we should make it a year. Yeah. Yeah, yeah

0:52.4

I mean my my no my lungs three months, so like I don't know like each month. I'm like my I feel like I should like do something

0:59.4

You know confetti cupcake

1:01.8

Dumbbell how hilarious just every month. I don't think they're ever gonna last more than three months, so

1:09.4

Yeah, I know it's my fault. They always my fault. I literally fucking like dating for me is like

1:16.7

It's like I'm on a helicopter, but it's not a parachute helicopter

1:21.9

It's a normal helicopter and I'm on it for like three months and then she says something while she's like

1:26.7

So which is Odex time where were you born and what is your blood smell like and then I'm like all right

1:30.2

Then I pulled the cord and jump off so you think you always pull it too fast or you think I don't I don't reason

1:36.3

I just be like this is where it needs to go

1:38.8

So there's you so do you think you're being irrational every night?

1:42.3

Yeah, I get turned off easily by something and then I just dip really girl called me buddy out

...

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