#528 The Art of the Calm Response
Happiness Podcast
Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D.
4.4 • 920 Ratings
🗓️ 28 March 2025
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The Art of the Calm Response
How many times have you regretted something you said in the heat of the moment? It's a universal struggle, and one that can have significant consequences for our relationships and well-being. This podcast is dedicated to understanding the root of angry communication, and providing practical tools to cultivate kindness and thoughtful responses, even when emotions run high.
New Happiness Podcast episode with Dr. Robert Puff, Newport Beach Psychologist
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� Music: By Kevin MacLeod
#calm #calmresponse #artofcalmresponse #findinghappiness #newportbeachpsychologist #happiness #happinesspodcast
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Happiness Podcast. I'm Dr. Robert Puff. I love my work as a clinical psychologist. There's so much joy and happiness in what I do. People come to me because they're motivated to get better and they want to improve their lives. |
| 0:21.9 | But there's one aspect of my work that is hard and sad for me. |
| 0:27.3 | When couples or individuals start working with me, usually in the first session, I'm going to talk about kindness. |
| 0:34.0 | Because unkindness is the path to unhappiness. And people are wanting to improve their lives, |
| 0:40.0 | so if they're wanting to make their lives better, they have to be kind. It doesn't mean they can't |
| 0:44.8 | set boundaries, but even the boundaries, they have to set kindly. And though no one that I can |
| 0:50.2 | remember has ever really disagreed with me on this point, it would surprise you how hard |
| 0:55.8 | it is for people to stay kind when they're angry. And when I see these acts of unkindness told to me, |
| 1:04.0 | it makes my heart sad because I realize the pain that's incurring on the other person |
| 1:09.4 | and on the person expressing their anger. |
| 1:13.3 | I very recently had a relative who knows of my work reach out to me because they had an |
| 1:19.2 | incident that upset them. And as we were talking about it, she shared how she got in a fight |
| 1:24.5 | with her roommate, and her roommate said very unkind things to her, |
| 1:28.3 | but in return, she said horrible things back to her roommate. |
| 1:33.3 | And though it hurt her what her roommate said, it heard her more what she had said to her roommate. |
| 1:40.3 | So why would hurting another person, being unkind, lashing out, be worse for us than receiving |
| 1:48.1 | unkindness? It's actually quite simple. When someone is unkind to us, mean to us, cruel to us, |
| 1:56.0 | we can see them as a bad person, as a nefarious, wicked person who does harmful things. |
| 2:03.6 | We may hate them in our hearts. |
| 2:05.5 | We may despise what they said to us, but the anger, the loathing is being pointed at the other |
| 2:11.6 | person. |
| 2:12.6 | So if we really don't want to think about it, we don't have to. |
... |
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