Music

Well, welcome home family. It's your mom and dad. Your mom and dad were here. Good morning. Good morning to all the good morning. I want to start this off by

honestly making a request, making a statement to you, Evan. Okay. And I want to say this. If you really love me, truly, deeply love me. I'm already sitting up for a failure.

I'm going to need you to do something for me. Okay. So forget the year that the past decades of love. This is the only matter. It's all thrown out the window if this doesn't happen. One day, if you and I get a divorce.

Okay. And I decide to go. I really love you and we get a divorce. So I have to this the way to prove my love to you is if we get a divorce, I do whatever's coming next.

Correct. If one day we get a divorce. And I decide to go on the golden bachelor. Okay. If you truly love me. Yes. I'm going to need you to make sure that in my contract. Yes. It says that I am getting a separate hotel room.

Oh. Okay. I don't care what it is. It could be in a motel six, red or fin. Like I'm not particular a closet somewhere, but my own room. So the bunk beds aren't doing it for you. The bunk beds are, you know what, listen.

Well, first of all, before you continue, I actually have something to say here. So what I want you. So what you're saying is. Yeah. Is post divorce. Yeah. I'm negotiating your contracts for you. If you love me. Yeah. If I love you, not only am I negotiating your contracts for you.

Yeah. But I'm also getting you what you want. Yeah. Because if you really love me, you don't want me to find love again and be so comfy because you're doing it. Wow. I mean, you know, that's the next level.

Let's show me. You really love me. Once I leave you, if you don't help me find love again, you'd never loved me. Okay. So that's what we're dealing with this morning, everyone.

I'm just saying, you know, you've shown a lot of amazing displays of love over the past 18 years. I'm just looking forward. You know, I'm looking at the future. The just in cases to just let you know, if you really love me, you know, you're going to step in and negotiate the contract.

I'll be honest with you. Just out of spite. I'll make sure it's a closet. Okay.

I'll tell you what's the four seasons, but it's really a closet. I mean, I'll take it. I'll absolutely take it. So you're not vibing with the bunk bed. A cozy little vibe.

Listen, here's the thing. We're talking golden bachelor episode, you know, being surrounded by a bunch of strangers in a dark room while you sleep. I love this episode so much.

Evan and I cried five, six times. Perhaps it was an unbelievable episode. But, but of course, we started the episode off seeing that, yes, in fact, we're like, there's no way.

They're going to get them a hotel. They're going to be filming on side of the mansion, but there's no way they're making them stay there. We saw, but in fact, they are having bunk beds and all

slam together in the rooms in this mansion. We heard Sandra being like, some of us have like knee surgery and knee problems and you're having a double knee replacement, double knee replacement, and you're having us get up to the top bunk.

Yes. That is truly unbelievable, truly unbelievable. I guess I was then also thinking about the idea of not having that alone time.

Strangers in a room in your 60s and 70s. Being like, I can't do that. I've had kids had my own bathroom for 50 years. And now, not only am I in the dark with strangers, I'm dealing with the fact that like someone might be snoring, farting.

For these women, what I want is I want to make sure that they are completely comfortable with everything that they need that is accessible to them. That is an absolute necessity. Make that happen.

But then what I was thinking about on top of that, which wasn't discussed was the part that you are not ever alone.

Dude, I would lose my mind. I'd be like, that's why I'm like, it's going to be in the contract, Evan, that if I ever go on this show and I'm in my 60s or 70s, that I just need, you know, honestly, for real though.

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