5 Rules For ARGUING w/ Matthew + Sabrina Schlesinger, Hosts of "Marriage on the Go" Podcast

Dear Young Married Couple

Adam & Karissa King

Christianity, Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 871 Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2020

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Studies show that how often you argue actually doesn't matter when it comes to your satisfaction in the marriage; how those arguments are handled, however, will definitely be a determining factor in predicting not only satisfaction, but divorce rates and other important dynamics in your marriage. So how do we argue well? Today on the podcast, Matthew and Sabrina Schlesinger share five rules for arguing effectively: Seek first to understand. Call a grown-up time-out. Don't go to bed angry. Respect their process. Become a safe place. One of our favorite things that Matthew and Sabrina said during this episode was, "Have a good customer service desk for your spouse." You may not always agree, but seek to understand. This will definitely result in a much happier customer. Matthew + Sabrina gave a couple of book recommendations: The Naked Marriage by Dave and Ashley Willis Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It by Jerry Jenkins You can contact Matthew and Sabrina at www.mommentor.org or hello@mommentor.org (or on IG: @sabrinaschlesinger). Their two podcasts are "Marriage on the Go" and "Parenting on the Go" Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:29.7	Back in the Cold War when there was Russia and the United States, there was an agreement,
0:34.8	a mutual agreement that we're not going to push that button because if we push
0:39.1	that button, everybody loses. We're going to guard the words we use. We're not going to use
0:43.7	weapons of mass destruction. There are certain words and tones and conversations that everyone
0:50.6	loses if you hit that button yet so many are willing to do that. Because we're two different people,
0:55.3	we have two different backgrounds.
0:57.3	We carry in all of our luggage,
0:59.4	all of our past trauma,
1:01.3	all of the ways that we were raised.
1:03.3	We're too flesh becoming one.
1:05.6	Sounds poetic, but that's a gruesome process.
1:10.9	Dear young married couple, you're in a busy season of your life.
1:15.9	You're probably working and involved in ministry.
1:18.9	On top of that, you might even be parents or students.
1:22.9	You're maxed, but you really want to stay connected in your marriage.
1:27.3	And that's why we're bringing this podcast to you.
1:29.9	I'm Adam King.
1:30.8	And I'm Carissa King.
1:31.9	And we work with busy couples just like you in our counseling office here in Sacramento, California.
	...

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