So if you have been married for any length of time, you have likely built up a narrative in your head about your spouse.

Here are the two most common ones we experience.

Husbands often say, well, our child wouldn't misbehave so much if my wife wasn't so soft and lenient and let them get away with things.

She just coddles our child.

Wives often say,

Our child reacts and has meltdowns because my husband reacts

angrily, can't control his emotions, and is too harsh.

Now, there's likely truth in each of those statements,

but it's not the whole truth.

And these kind of narratives serve to place blame

on the other spouse and make me feel justified in my own actions but they will

ultimately lead to the disintegration of your family and your marriage and you

don't want that so for for Valentine's Day, I have actually

written a Valentine's Day message for each of you and challenge you to say and

write some version of this to your spouse instead.

For men, what would it feel like to your wife

if you were to write this or say this to them?

Honey, I am so glad that I married a woman who loves our children so much that she does

everything within her power to make sure they're happy.

Sure, sometimes she's too lenient and soft, but I know she wants, I know that she wants

them to know they're loved unconditionally. Perhaps I could learn to be a little bit more understanding and flexible as well.

And then ask your wife, how can I be more like you in just one way?

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